What I learned from the Budget
I learned something very interesting yesterday.
I was half listening to Biffo droning on, giving his budget speech. I say ‘half listening’ because if you concentrated, you’d go out of your mind.
The Budget has been thrashed out elsewhere, and I’m not going to go into the ins and out of that. That’s boring.
It was the bit where he talked about tobacco and drink that caught my interest.
First of all, he raised the price of fags by 30c. That didn’t surprise me. He said it was because they were dirty filthy foul things and they were ruining the health of the nation, and we all wanted to make Ireland tobacco free. Or words to that effect. I had one small issue with that. He included me in that ‘all’. I don’t want to make Ireland tobacco free.
He then went on to briefly mention high alcohol drinks, and how he had concerns about them, and that he was going to address that issue in the next budget. So high alcohol drinks have a reprieve for a year.
There is only one conclusion from this. Tobacco poses a much higher risk to health than high alcohol drinks. I never knew that.
So all those nightly street fights in our city centres [and elsewhere] aren’t caused by drink after all. The fact that I get bashed over the head with a wine bottle by some stranger is because he has just smoked eight Benson & Hedges, and has nothing to do with his being out of his gourds on tequila slammers and countless pints of lager? All those kids lying on Accident and Emergency floors on a Saturday night are there because they had a surreptitious drag on a mate’s fag, and has nothing to do with them being fifty times over the limit?
From now on, I’m going to watch the taxi-ranks. If there is a driver who is having a quick smoke while waiting for a fare, I’ll avoid him like the plague. I’ll go for the one who has just downed a bottle of whiskey in one go. Much safer.
From now on, if I see someone approaching me smoking a cigarette, I’ll have my Mace and my Tazer at the ready. In fact, I will try and hang around the stag parties in Temple Bar. Much safer.
It is amazing what you can learn even from a boring old budget speech.
You see you are forgetting. A lot of the government have buddies who own pubs. They can’t leave them out in the cold. Sure the next time Bertie goes for his pint of Bass in Drumcondra he would hardly be able to look the bar person in the eye. But I suppose it wouldn’t be bothering him that much in hindsight. After all he wouldn’t be paying for it out of his own pocket now would he?
As far as I can tell it must be the only pub in the coutry to sell Bass because I haven’t seen it anywhere else!
I love the way that they think by hiking €6 on to the cost of going to A&E will dissuade people from attending.
Robert – That couldn’t be the reason. Are you saying that self interest is involved? Surely not?
And I can just picture the scene:
Kid: “Mammy! I just hammered a nail through daddy’s head”
Mammy: “Well, he’ll have to live with it. I’m not forking out an extra €6”
I hate the stinkin’ feckers. *puffs*
Haven’t the foggiest about the budget, one of the perks of living abroad! What I did see today in the Irish news dismayed me however:
http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/breaking/2007/1206/breaking44.htm
Tourist numbers in Ireland on the increase. It might be time for a Christmas cull?
I discovered on a recent trip to your side of the pond that it isn’t drinking beer that gives me the hangover. It’s the pack of cigs I smoke with the beer. You see, because y’all have to go outside to smoke I didn’t bother. Next morning clear head.
ps. Welcome back from your day off Grandpa.
K8 – You’re OK. You’ve moved back to the UK again.
Swiss Job – You didn’t miss much. It was a complete non-event. Great news about the tourists though. I’ll have to order in another container or two of ammunition 👿
TT – Try smoking a pipe instead! And thanks. I might have another one soon…
Did anyone else notice that the article referenced by TSJ talks only about the number of U.S. and Canadian tourists that ENTER the country but not the number that leave?
Hmmmmmm!?
A lot of those who end up in A & E stocious (Sorry, not stocious, reduced to a sense of insensibility by the scent of Old Holborn) never pay anyway. They come in unfit to stand up, let alone answer their name, puke up around the place, lash out at the staff, and then get up and walk out without paying. They should have their fags compensated, as these are the obvious cause of the problem and should be transported to pubs in Drumcondra for a refreshing non-dangerous bottle of cheap vodka. In fact, it would save on the social welfare administration if the HSE simply provided free vodka.
Brianf – I have said before… ITSA [Irish Tourist Shooting Association] has an extremely sophisticated publicity department.
Ian – The Social Welfare does provide free vodka. Stand outside Tescos in Ballybrack and you’ll see them wheeling vodka out by the crate load. Also, it’s what the HSE puts in the intravenous drips to get them down off that dangerous nicotine high.
Maybe you might like this Smokers Button I am a smoker button
Put it on your blog 🙂
easy hit for political bimbos hit the drink and smoke crowd…let’s buy a fleet of Mercedes for the beaurocrats..we’ll just knock another 30p on fags to pay for it…let’s see..why don’t we have a big Global warming conference and then establish a do nothing department to go with it….your ale just went up 50p…blighters should be shot or made to listen to Celine Dion dvd’s in an enclosed space for 10 years….
Grandad, as tobacco is still legal (for the moment) is it a big job to grow your own, between that and yer home brew,
you could tell Biffo where to go with his budget.
I have no idea even how to start growing your own tobacco,
but sure what is the most you need, a greenhouse…
As Biffo keeps hitting the smokes, it becomes a viable alternative. And you could do it co-op style.
Of course, I’m sure it will end up with mid-night raids on the Sweet Afton outlaws..
Smokers stink, inhaling the smoke that comes out of their mouth/nose after having travelled somewhere all the way to the lunges is disgusting. I love the indoors smoking ban.
Drinking (excessively) is what most people use (successfully) to hide behind the excuse of being drunk when they do things they normally wouldn’t dare to do, spineless bastages. Want to be loud and obnoxious?
That’s what I think anyway.
As for the government budgeting and stuff, I still can’t believe that cigarettes are legal. I think if cigarettes were invented just about now, governments would be busting the inventors for good, for coming up with something so detrimental to health. Oh hey, I hear you say, there is something called free-will, freedom of choice. No one is pushing anyone to smoke, it’s a matter of choice. Well, young people, kids are not known for their informed decision making skills, do they? Just have it available for all so they can smoke at least once, hate it, but keep going because of peer pressure, in an effort to look cool and fit in and eventually get addicted. Fekin’ great.
Governments suck, just as bad as the two aforementioned items, and they are detrimental to overall well-being of everybody on the planet. So they should be banned also. 30c further on price of cigarette? Woopdeefuckingdo. That’ll make everyone smoke less, even better, quit smoking. What a naive goofy way of thinking. Surely he doesn’t get my vote by being… ehm, himself…
Cheers,
G
PS: GD, sorry about shiting on here in the comment box about what I really think. Freespeech gets you shot at, but what the hell, I can do it every once in a while, no? Besides, I am drunk so it should be excused! That or it’s the PMS…
Hey Gaye – Feel free to rant. As long as it’s not libellous!
I agree with you on a lot of points. I hate cigarettes, and their smell. I do disagree though on blanket laws simply because it smacks too much of a police state. I am allergic to perfume and any artificial ‘scent’, but I would be horrified if they were outlawed. Anyway – you should know all my opinions by now…?
Relax. Light up a pipe. Life will be fine again. 🙂
Hi John 56477. Sorry – you got trapped in my filters…
I have never tried growing my own tobacco, and it is an interesting idea. I know The Other Stuff grows very well, so…. heck…. who needs tobacco anyway?
😉
GD,
My parents were both heavy smokers, indoors, outdoors, in the car, I suppose I developed a sense of disgust. Having said that, the boyfriend smokes so, hmm, where did I go so wrong?
About banning, I don’t mean banning smoking, I don’t mean banning people from doing something the like / want to / have to do. I meant, utopically speaking, making tobacco, cigarette manufacturers and all things cigarette disappear altogether. No tobacco no smokes.
That’d mean pipes would go too, wouldn’t it? D’oh.
Gx
Gaye – I completely agree. The world would be a better place without tobacco. But then that argument could be extended to cover so many things, like nuclear weapons, alcohol, opium and all its derivatives and so on.
I suppose I could still suck on an empty pipe?