The Late Late Toy Showoff — 30 Comments

  1. ‘I wish to God that someone would remove Pat The Plank’s batteries’

    Did anyone ever fit them in the first place?

  2. They were fitted during the cloning process. Unfortunately, they are Ego-batteries, and they last a lifetime.

  3. Grandad why does the edit box stay for so long over my comments? It is still there over my first comment.

  4. Gosh! I don’t know whether we have shows like that in the U.S., but if we do, I probably go to bed too early to see and appreciate them. I guess I’ll have to continue to depend on afternoon court TV shows for my entertainment. They are hilarious–and annoying and pitiful at the same time.

  5. It was woeful beyond belief. Kicking the baby (doll), introducing Jerry SeinFIELD and then the standard performances that were cringe inducing.

    Why is it the “longest running chat show in the world”? Does he perform some mass hypnosis after every show? Ala Men in Black?

  6. The sad thing is that these toys will be the best-sellers this Christmas, I hope I’m wrong.
    I read somewhere that the best selling toy last Christmas was the real-life shape fake pony, priced around £250 or something like that, it’s crazy.

    I love your blog Grandad, you are one of my favourite Irish citizens!

  7. Grannymar – It is set to stay like that for 15 minutes. It gives you a chance to find the dictionary, to check your spelling…

    Marlys – You don’t know what you are missing!!!

    Red WG – That is what I am saying – it was so bad that it was compulsive viewing. I don’t know how he gets away with it [and pulls in €1m for it]

    Lunja – Welcome! 🙂 The thing I noticed about the ‘toys’ is that none of them was designed for play value. They were all designed for one-upmanship in the playground, thereby forcing more parents to buy them.

    And thanks 😉 [who is the other favourite person? Bertie?]

    Donncha – I would nearly watch it myself again. I think it is repeated on Monday night? Even watch the first half hour. It will give you a taste of how bad it is [and that includes that baby-kicking episode].

  8. Oh, I’d forgotten the Toy Show. OHH how long did it take for my therapist to achieve that, and thanks to Grandad, here I am back at square one.

    I can remember sitting on the in-laws’ sofa in Belfast years ago while a whole roomful watched this carry-on, with myself rocking in a fetal position whispering over and over again, “make it stop…make it sssstttoppp…make it stop…”

    Never saw a grown man wearing lots of make-up kick a baby doll up the backside, however. That might have perked me up.

  9. Quite apt then that an anagram of “The Late Late Show” is.

    Hates! Well to Hate!

    Watching the children dissect Kenny with a rusty teaspoon would have been nice and educational.

  10. Susan – Watch the repeat [whenever it is]. I can guarantee it is the best aversion therapy ever.

    SID – With a bit of luck, the kids and their parents probably dismembered and disembowelled him after. Now that would make a prime time show!

  11. Grandad,

    The ‘Plank’ has an amazing effect on my hand.

    As soon as I hear his voice (on TV or radio) it automatically reaches for the ‘off’ button before I’ve time to think.

    I couldn’t stop it if I tried! 😉

  12. Steph – That is very strange. I have exactly the same affliction! I had to give Herself the remote control last night, because I kept instinctively switching it off, even though I wanted to watch it.

    Grannymar – I read that 🙂 It is a pretty accurate blow by blow account of the programme. It’s great how we all lined up like eclipse watchers, waiting for the fiasco to happen!!

  13. Grandad,

    The best bit is watching the kids with a bit of cop-on running rings around the Plank and showing him up for the emotionless cyborg he really is.

    By the way, did you notice the number of times he mentioned Smyths Toys. Nice product placement . . . . .

  14. Shane – Kids aren’t fools. I loved the one who was supposed to talking about his book, but got wrapped up in admiring himself on the monitor. He completely ignored The Plank. As soon as the camera was off them, I swear I heard a yelp as Plank hit him !!

    Smyths were mentioned a couple of dozen times all right 😉

  15. I had to Google this guy . . . he was a chemical engineer so that probably explains his charisma bypass.

    In my experience, little kids are more interested in the box the thing came in than the toy itself so I get pretty cranky at these exposes of expensive, battery or chip driven toys that are designed for the gadget geeks and the brain dead.

    Find out if he was getting paid to endorse Smyths products and sue the arse off him or accepting undisclosed cash for comment!

  16. Baino – Pat Kenny is a very intelligent, well educated bloke [which is one of the reasons he pisses me off so much when he says things like ‘you guys’ and ‘check this out’]. He is ideally suited to presenting science programmes or political debates. But he is crap at anything that requires a personality, because he doesn’t have one.

  17. Too many toys today depend on batteries. They deprive children of the challenge to their imagination i.e. how to make this thing move, mime and become an adjunct to playacting. The battery-operated jobs do everything for the gazing child, who becomes a spectator rather than a participant.
    I’d advise parents to visit Oxfam shops and the like and find handmade toys from struggling countries. I also think parents should buy reading books for their kids. Happy Christmas from afar.

  18. Gerry – I couldn’t agree more. I can guarantee that 99% of this years toys will be discarded through boredom or broken within a month or less. I still have a lot of my toys from fifty or so years ago, and my granddaughter loves them!!!!

  19. I saw about ten minutes of the repeat on Sunday.

    3 toys, none of which worked. And he also kicked one of them.

    Also, the fucking state of him stalking around the stage in his nicely ironed jeans!

  20. In many poor countries of Africa children make their own toy trucks and cars from scrap wire and tin cans. The aid agency Bothar mounted an exhibition of examples some years ago.

  21. OFTR – Just imagine that ten minutes stretched to over two hours!!!

    Michele – Come to that, whatever happened to Mecchano? Now there was an educational toy!!

  22. Icing on the cake – the link you posted to the RTE site is broken. They’ve taken down the PDF and not removed the link from their search facility.

    I’m SO proud of myself for never having paid the TV license…

  23. Caro – Heh Heh!!! Thanks for that.

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  24. I like all the kids in late,late toy show,the all where brilliant

    ‘esp’ Bello Pluto Italian Boy. I loved his leather jacket and trouser

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