A Slight Degradation in Service
I woke early this morning.
That happens quite often. It comes with age. And it meant I could get some work done.
So I fired up my trusty Remington and waited for the usual clatter of spam arriving in my in-tray.
I went to visit my favourite
porn news site.
My Interweb connection is deceased. It is no more. It is an extinct link.
I rang my broadband company. I went through the usual – press 1 for this and 2 for that, several times.
Eventually, I got a recorded voice saying that my area was suffering from a ‘slight degradation in service’. What? A degradation is a degrading, a lowering in standard, not quite up to par. Saying my service is slightly degraded is like saying that the Titanic is floating a little low in the water, or that the sun is a little less bright at midnight.
My connection is suffering from a ‘slight degradation in service for
three four five six seven eight hours now. So much for getting my work done. I managed to get some work done here, but it’s funny how cut off I feel.
If the service doesn’t come back soon, I’m going to have to put this in an envelope and post it to the website.
And then I’ll go and slightly degrade all the windows in their office.
Oh! It’s back!!
Guess what the first thing is to arrive in my in-tray?
An Invoice from my broadband supplier.
So that’s why they fixed it so promptly…
I’m sure it will result in a slight degradation in funds when it comes time to pay the bill, eh G.D?
Out comes the Northern Rock credit card or the Northern Bank cash again……
My cable TV /high speed internet company deluges me with offers to take on board their telephone service too. Not a chance ‘cos every time the service fails, which it frequently does, I wouldn’t be able to phone it in. I do, however, delight in giving the sales person this reason whenever they call me.
Did someone once say something about eggs and baskets?
I use different suppliers for just about everything!
heheheh. a slight degradation in service.
you have to hand it to them, that’s bordering on genius.
Um, just tell them you have a slight degredation in finances and will only be able to pay half their bill this month.
Broadband….You have BROADBAND?
They keep telling me NOBODY outside Dublin and Cork has broadband, to stop waiting for it…I’m still waiting for a TV signal!
tt has a very good point. Our telephone company (you know who it is) responded to my complaint about frequent outages by blaming it on my phone. They MADE my phone…oh, clever. Sell folks a crap phone so when they complain about poor line quality, charge them a call-out service, then sell them ANOTHER phone. No thanks!
I agree with you Grandad…many providers. And I change mine when I can, to use their ‘welcome-back’ offers before they nail me again.
What a world.
I feel degraded everytime I lose my broadband connection.
Oh the shame,the emptiness that does exist.
Wondered where you were this morning.
Di you try emailing them and offering defenestration in response to their degradation?
Fiber-optic cable to the desktop with 25Mb through-put and a four port router so the printers are on the network as well. Service has NEVER waned in the year I have had it.
Verizon FiOS rocks!!!
when you started talking about spam..I got to thinking of breakfast…fried spam and eggs …good stuff…The last time my service went down I deducted a percentage off of my payment which caused great consternation amongst those lovely cubicle dwellers…I eventually won the battle but the best part was all the time and paper those wonks wasted..I should have sycked greenpeace on em afterwards…
Susan – Yes, I have broadband. I’d rather not go into how I got it though!
SID – We are, indeed sad lonely people…
Ian – You are even sadder. You were waiting for me to post? The defenestration would have occurred without warning. And it wouldn’t have been slight.
Brianf – You shut up. Anyone can lay a bit of nylon fishing line around a room and call it fiber. And you gave a house full of guns. Of course they are going to keep you happy.
Robert – I would like to try that, but they filch it straight out of my bank account. But don’t worry – I filch it straight back again. This laptop may be a bitch, but it’s great at hacking.
I was stuck here waiting to go off to a function with a prominent cleric and a government minister in attendance, neither of whom I had the slightest wish to talk to. The prospect of you breaking windows was much more interesting!