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You can't beat the natural way

Head Rambles Posted on by

I had a prescription for some tablets a while ago.

I can’t remember what for. Something insignificant.

I found the insert lying in the fluff at the back of the medicine cabinet and had a quick read. Normally I don’t read these things, because the doctor knows best. It was interesting though, because it gave a list of side effects……….

skin rash
swollen face or tongue
shortness of breath
difficulty breathing
high temperature with rigid muscles
confusion or agitation
sweating
jerky muscle movements which you can’t control
mania or hypomania
feelings of violence
feelings of drowsiness and/or confusion
convulsions
unusual bruising or bleeding
black, tarry stools
rapid or irregular heart beat
flushing or fainting
change in appetite or bowel habits
constipation
diarrhoea
indigestion
feeling or being sick
weight loss or gain
unusual tiredness or weakness
headache
abdominal discomfort
clenching or grinding of teeth
yawning
chills
fever
itchiness
yellow skin or eyes
dark urine
flu like symptoms
sore muscles or joints
muscle spasm
stiff muscles
clumsiness or loss of balance
slurring or difficulty speaking
tremor
strange feeling on the skin such as “pins and needles” or burning
dizziness
dry mouth
difficulty sleeping or abnormal dreams
drowsiness
nervousness
agitation
difficulty sitting still
confusion
hallucinations
difficulty in urinating
feeling the need to go to the toilet more often than usual
abnormal ejaculation/orgasm
reduced sex drive
impotence
menstrual disturbances in women
rarely abnormal breast milk production
sweating
skin rash
increased sensitivity of your skin to sunlight
blurred vision
tinnitus (ringing in the ears)

I think in future, I’ll just stick to smoking pot.

 

Comments

You can't beat the natural way — 18 Comments

  2. Something like that.

    You take an aspirin and than have to buy 61 pills to stop the side effects. Each of those pills has 50 or more side effects so you have to buy…… etc etc etc.

  3. What is it with your family and label reading? stick some spliff in yer poip and if you get any of those symptoms you won’t give a shit . . .all you’ll want is a toasted cheese sandwich!

  4. Listen,Baino – I can’t help what my weird daughter gets up to in the privacy of her own jax.

    I prefer my cheese cold with Marmite, and my pipe packed to the hilt.

  5. Maybe they give you those side effects on purpose. That way you will have to buy the 50 pills to stop them and support the industry. They could even be subsidised pills that they are selling at a loss hoping you will buy the more expensive ones to stop the side effects

  6. That’s my theory, Dankoozy. You realise that one prescription for a tablet means that by the end of the week you are having to collect your prescriptions in a 16-wheeler lorry….

  7. Nah! You got it all wrong.

    By the time you have read that list and checked for symptoms you have forgotten what was wrong in the first place and think they cured you.

    Remember 60% of all perscribed medication DOES NOT WORK!

  9. Grandad,

    The solution to your problem is simple:

    Insist on having your pills packed in a CHILDPROOF vial. You won’t be able to get it open with a jackhammer.

    Then you won’t have to worry about black and tarry bowel movements and the inability to control them. Believe it or not, that was one of the warnings on my bottle of pills to be taken for a stopped up nose.

  10. I leave all my childproof bottles for my granddaughter – I can’t manage ’em.

    I don’t want to be personal, but what were you doing with black and tarry bowel movements up your nose?

  12. I remember going for anti-malarials once and being given the choice: Do you want the ones that give you a 1 in 3 chance of breaking out in horrible skin blisters or the ones that induce psychosis? In the end I found that copious amounts of alcohol and not washing kept the mozzies at bay.

  14. “I don’t want to be personal,but what were you doing with black and tarry bowel movements up your nose”..

    Don’t ask me, Grandad, all I know is my nose hasn’t been stopped up since!!!!!!

  15. Reduced sex drive? No more spins up to Glendalough then? Just as far as Roundwood?

  16. Up to the Pine Forest, Sneezy. That’s Dublin’s biggest Park ‘n’ Ride facility.

  17. I would love to see the referrers to this post in about a week’s time .. 🙂

  18. Oooops. I hadn’t thought of that.

    You mean that on top of all the saddos looking for porn, I’m now going to be inundated with hypochondriacs and neurotics?

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