Last night, my life was put in danger.
I was the innocent victim of an insidious attack of passive drinking.
Herself and I went to a function. There were several hundred people there and most of them were drinking. Herself and I had soft drinks [lemon and orange respectively].
During the course of the evening I was subjected to the fumes of alcohol from these selfish individuals who were indulging in their disgusting habit at my expense. The stench of stale wine and beer fumes was overwhelming, and it had very serious implications for my health. I was so overwhelmed by the fumes, I was unable to enjoy myself.
Clinical trials1 have shown that a person subjected to passive alcohol can absorb as much as a half bottle of wine in a night. This alcohol is absorbed by breathing the fumes and also through the skin. This could have put me way over the safe driving limit. I could have killed a bus load of children last night. Fortunately, I didn’t.
Laboratory trials2 show that prolonged exposure to passive alcohol can lead to liver damage, and ultimately to alcoholism.
Psychological tests3 show that a sober person who is surrounded by drunks will begin to behave as if they were drunk too. God knows, I could have gone and killed someone last night in a crazed drunken knife attack, because I thought I was drunk.
During the intervals, I was forced to leave the building where I could enjoy the nice clean invigorating smell of cigarette and pipe smoke. I felt refreshed and clean. Herself lit up in the lobby [fair play to her!] and was evicted by a bloke who had a glass of wine in his hand. The hypocrisy of it!
When we got home, we had to destroy our clothing as it was all ruined by the stench of alcohol. This morning, I have a hangover.
This foul and disgusting habit must cease. Drinkers should be forced to drink outside where they belong. This is a civilised society where the rights of the individual must be respected.
I am calling for an immediate ban on all drinking and consumption of alcohol in enclosed spaces, in particular pubs and hotels. If these individuals have to drink, let them do it outside, or in their own homes. They can destroy their own bodies if they wish and those of their children, but I demand my rights not to have their foul habit inflicted upon me and mine. Pubs and hotels should be safe environments where I have the right to smoke my pipe in peace.
Passive drinking is far more dangerous than passive smoking. It has immediate and dangerous consequences which, in the short term can lead to violence and danger on the roads, and in the long term will lead to ill health and irreparable damage to the body.
This must be made an election issue.
Let Ireland lead the rest of Europe in outlawing the consumption of alcohol in enclosed spaces.
- From the same clinical trials where they tested passive smoking and cosmetics.
- See 1.
- I read this somewhere.