From time to time, I sniff around other people’s sites.
You never know if you are going to find the odd €10 note someone has accidentally dropped behind a comment or something.
I happened to poke around Twenty’s site the other day, and I saw something that shocked and infuriated me.
So here is my open letter to him.
Up to now, you have been a reasonable bloke. We have mutually exchanged links, and sometimes the odd comment. Fair enough.
But you have put something on your site that frankly disgusts me.
You have listed Head Rambles under “Non smoking blogs”.
I am well known to be a pipe smoker, and have written extensively about the iniquity of the smoking ban. I have extolled the virtues of tobacco. They even made me light the pipe on the telly thing, because I was so well known for it. It is one of my trademarks, along with my beard and my insanity.
Mine is a Smoking Blog.
This is a slur on my character. You are causing me mental stress and anxiety. You are sullying my character. You are bringing my name into disrepute. This is libellous. This is the stuff of High Court Actions.
If you do not provide me with a Smoking Blog category forthwith, and lodge €500,000 to my Cayman Islands account, I shall be forced to send around my pussy cat to deal with you.
And you can forget about protection from Throatripper and Bastardface. My Tiddles is a mean f*cker.
I expect to hear from you by return.