In Ireland, we don’t have a New Years Honours List. No knighthoods or peerages, which I think is a good thing.
However, there should be some kind of recognition for outstanding achievements during the previous year.
So I would like to propose the following People of the Year, who in my opinion stood out in their various fields in 2006.
Bertie Ahern – For speaking so much, but saying so little, and for showing that his Teflon hide is as strong as ever.
Judge Brian Curtin – For proving that the Old Boys Network is alive and well.
Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams [joint award] – For trying to prove what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
Pat “The Plank” Kenny – For proving that you can make it to the top despite having no talent whatsoever.
Sharon Ní Bheoláin – For making the news tolerable.
Adele King [aka Twink] – For her superb eloquence and beautiful telephone manner.
Mary Harney – For her unshakable belief that she is improving the health service.
Archbishop Sean Brady – For reassuring us that the Catholic Church is still stuck in the 19th century.
Podge and Rodge [joint award] – For their restraint in not having a go at Archbishop Sean Brady, despite severe provocation.
Councillor Michael Fitzgerald – For being able to achieve zero alcohol blood levels after four pints, and for his responsible attitude to drunk driving.
The two regular readers of Head Rambles [joint award] – For their confidence that something worthwhile will appear here sometime.
Dublin Corporation – For kindly providing ammunition for the Dublin riots in February.
The Round Ireland Swim Team [joint award] – For putting in maximum effort for minimum returns.
There are of course many other high achievers, and my apologies to those I have left out.
We would like to congratulate Pat “The Plank” Kenny for his win last night, against very stiff opposition in the Podge and Rodge Feckin’ Eeejit of the Year Award.
Nominations are now open for People of the Year 2007.