A few signs that you might be older than you think
You wonder who that wrinkly grey haired fart is in the mirror in the morning.
You have to check your watch to see what day it is.
You have permanent scars on your shins from walking into things.
Officials look younger than your children.
You are on first name terms with the librarian, but not the barman.
It takes all night to do what you used to do all night.
You stop ogling young girls because they remind you of your granddaughter.
You have to pee more often.
The deaths column is the first thing you read in the newspaper.
You wonder how many of your old classmates are still alive.
Time passes faster than a drunken minister on a motorway.
A ‘wild night’ is opening a second pack of biscuits while watching telly.
You wake up and realise you’ve been asleep for the last two hours in the armchair.
You let your hair grow because you can’t stand the loud music in the hairdressers.
You obey all the speed limits.
You start chatting to strangers in the street.
‘Getting laid’ is something eggs do.
You don’t worry about global warming, because you won’t be around long enough to be affected.
You meet a stranger in the street. Five minutes later he reminds you that you worked together for twenty years.
You realise as the final credits are rolling that you’ve seen the film before.
You go into the library and can’t remember who your favourite authors are.
You can sing the latest hits because they are remixes of hits from the ’60s and ’70s.
You can remember the excitement of the view from the top of Nelson’s Pillar.
You know what Nelson’s Pillar was.
You start writing blogs, but you don’t know why.