I feel so sorry for the children of today.

They have to contend with so many things that didn’t exist when I was a lad.

For a start there is Depression. That didn’t exist in my day. If I felt a bit down, I was sent out into the garden to chop wood. It made me feel better. I could “vent my spleen”, as they say. I could get rid of all my frustrations on an unfortunate block of timber. Now the poor mites have to take Valium and Prozac to help them cope. Ahhhhh!

Then there is Stress. Oh yes. We did have stress. It was usually caused by either a) being late for school because we were slow in getting up or b) not having done / finished our homework. I was stressed every morning of my school life [for reasons ‘a’ and ‘b’]. I arrived late for school and got leathered for that, and then went up to the classroom where I got leathered for not having my homework. That was life. That was daily routine. That was stress. I lived, and got a good education. Now the kids aren’t allowed stress. Poor things. They are given more Valium and Prozac.

Another modern invention is Attention Deficit Disorder. Come on!! In my day that was called “being disruptive”. It meant you were a pain in the arse classroom. It was rightly your fault and you got clattered for it. [In my day, you got clattered / leathered for nearly everything]. Nowadays, the little dears have “problems” that have to have labels, so they are rushed off to their psychiatrist where they are told they have ADD or somesuch, and given more Valium and Prozac.

In my day, if you gave cheek to the teacher, you were

• Given a belt around the head
• Given the Leather
• Given 500 lines
• Sent outside the door
• Sent to the Headmaster
• All of the above

Now if you give cheek to the teacher, it means you must have some underlying psychological problem. You are given more Prozac and Valium.

If something traumatic happened in our lives, we shrugged and got on with life. Now they have to have counselling and are doubtless given Valium and Prozac, to help them get over it.

Having survived the school system while being doped up to the eyeballs in tranquillisers and whatnot, modern children are then berated for experimenting with drugs. Am I the only person who sees a connection here??

Actually, the Sunday Times agrees with me