There is a brilliant little scam being proposed in the UK.

Andy Haldane, who apparently is a big knob in the Bank of England proposes that we do away with cash.

On the face of it, that's not a bad idea.  Just think – no more pockets weighed down with loose change, no more coins being lost down the back of the sofa or clogging up the washing machine filter, no more fivers being caught in a gust of wind and whisked off down the street?  No more losing money.

Back in the Good Days cash was king.  There were no plastic cards that you could stick in a yoke to pay a bill.  If you wanted to send cash to someone you had to send a cheque.  If you wanted cash late in the evening your only choice was to find a friendly barman or shopkeeper who would cash a cheque for you.

Then along came the ATM and cash was available 24 hours a day, assuming you could find an ATM.

Over the years I have found I am using less cash each day.  I buy a shed load of stuff on the Interweb, including my weekly groceries, and naturally that is all paid electronically.  If I am booking my holidays in Cork, it's done by electronic transfer, as is the return of my deposit.  The great joy about all of this is that it is instant and involves no hassle such as finding a bank, or having to post cheques [and buy stamps and envelopes] and things.  The only time I use cash is when I am making small purchases or in the pub or when I'm making a transaction that is strictly "off the record".

Let's look at the other side of the coin [as it were].

The reason dear Mr Haldane wants a cashless society is in fact an insidious little scam.

Interest rates are at rock bottom at the moment in an effort to boost the economy.  People are still not spending their money however so the low interest rate isn't low enough.  The ideal [from the banks’s point of view] is to lower interest rates below zero.  The effect of a negative interest rate is that you now have to pay the bank for storing your cash instead of getting interest.  The net effect is that people will either pay that fee or else withdraw all their money and stick it under the mattress.  But if there is no cash then that option is out.  You have no option but to pay them their blood money.

Of course the gubmints would love this idea too.  No more black market.  No more paying cash to avoid tax.  No more Man with a Van selling bootleg fags outside the Dole Office.  Not only will they know precisely how much everyone has, they'll know precisely what you're spending it on.  The gubmint and the banks would have total control over your financial affairs.

Nice Mr Haldane can go fuck himself.

I'm sticking with cash.

[with thanks to Ian who pointed me in the right direction]

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Splashing the cash — 9 Comments

  1. We have the same discussion in Sweden. The reason, says the State, is that it will be safer. For the people. For you and me. Bull. They want to know where you spend your money and, I am sure, where you have been. Do not forget that in Sweden we have a personal number since birth. That number is absolutely everywhere. It easy to cross check all your activities. Control is what they want. 

    Since a year ago I do like this: of course I pay via internet the things that I buy there. But everything else I pay with cash, including gas/petrol. When my pocket is empty I go to the ATM and collect €1.000 and fill up.

    I’d like to minimize my digital footprints. 

    Somewhat paradoxical: the first of October this year we replace all bills i Sweden!

    Paranoid? Not me but the State.


  2. Bickering inefficent leaders Migrant invasion debaseing of currency a people unwilling to defend themselfs or their culture its like a replay of Western romes fall.

     Enjoy all!

  3. In the normal course of things I don't give a shit what they want to find out from my spending habits – very dull, mostly groceries.  There are some transactions I would prefer to keep to myself and they are done by cash in the hand.

  4. The loss of cash would give the government the capacity to control people's lives – if everyone depends on cards then the security services will be able to simply cancel the cards of dissidents

  5. The guy's a complete moron. Actually that's an insult even to a moron.

    People have been spending their cash, only that's not going through the normal (taxable) system.

    On case in point. Brough Superior sold for £315,000 and it's not the one Lawrence rode (that's in a museum and is valued at way more than a piddly £315k

    I believe this is the one that actually wet under the hammer for £280k

    Both are way lots better than money in the bank.

    And I'll not get on to the subject of gold or diamonds as a medium of exchange or store of value. Just give us the date they decide to outlaw money and watch the price of those go through the roof.

    (By comparison this little gem's a brilliant living room ornament and at £4k it's a steal).  

  6. If they (?) create a cashless economy I can list a few serious consequences.

    1. No coins could be thrown into open guitar cases of street buskers.

    2. No more pennies into collection boxes for the Black Babies and other charities.

    3. No spare change left on tables or saucers as tips for waiting staff.

    4. An end to the natural custom of 'spending a penny'.

    5. Tossing a coin to decide who kicks off first in football matches will end. Refs will bear the brunt of jeering fans.

    6. The tinkle of dropping coins in slot machines will come to an end.

    7. Tossing coins into holy wells and wishing wells 'for good luck' will cease. Likewise public fountains.

    8. Playing penny poker will cease. People will have to play with dry beans. Not sexy.

    9. Kind grandparents won't be able to give grandchildren a few coins to go and buy ice cream cones.

    10. er, I must go upstairs and spend a penny while I think of other things to add to the list.

    11. Just remembered: it won't be possible to use Thai baht coins as substitutes for 2 euro coins when paying for drinks in busy pubs.

    I say drop the idea of a coinless, cashless economy. It will lead to fascism and riots.

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