It’s a wrap

What the fuck is it with packaging these days?

They moan and bitch about the cost of waste disposal and the lack of landfill areas and the incredible amount of rubbish that people produce these days and then they inundate us with useless packaging that all has to be thrown away.

It seems to be a physical impossibility for them to produce anything nowadays without encasing it in expanded polystyrene, shrink wrap, pellets of foam or reams of cardboard.  And plastic.  Tons and fucking tons of fucking plastic.  About 90% of the stuff that goes into my bin is useless fucking packaging.

They produce pills in bottles that require the manual dexterity of a five year old to open them [I have to get the grandkids to open some of my child-proof bottles]’

They sell rashers in vacuum packed monstrosities with a little “open here” in one corner that is sealed tighter than a camel’s arse in a sandstorm.  They claim they are re-sealable, but I have yet to find one that is.

They sell milk in cartons where either the little tab breaks off and the only way to open the carton is to attack it with a carving knife, or they provide a tab that requires a screwdriver and a pair of pliers to shift it.

I have y own little collection of tools to open packets.  A screwdriver, pliers, a hacksaw, a lock spanner and a collection of very sharp knives.  On some occasions I have had to resort to a hammer and even a blow-torch.

The worst of the lot is the hard transparent casing that is sealed around the edges.  It looks like two halves that should just prise apart but is in fact more secure than Fort fucking Knox.  The only way to open this sort of packaging is with a very sharp pair of scissors.

And what do they sell scissors in?

Yup.  Packaging that requires scissors to open it.

God give me strength. 

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Comments

It’s a wrap — 17 Comments

      • Meant to say to you GD.. was up hiking over the weekend at Glendalough. You live in an amazing county!   Almost as nice as Limerick.  :)

          • On that note, according to Google Earth, Head Rambles Manor is situated at an elevation of 556 ft (169.469 meters) while my house in Vermont is located in a river valley which is at an elevation of 727 ft (221.59 meters). The top of the valley behind my upper lot is at 845 ft (257.556 meters). About 30 miles south of us is the highest point of interstate highway 91 (runs through 3 states) at 1856 feet (565.7088 meters) and that's just a decent hill in around these parts.

            And this comment was brought to you for pretty much no reason at all. Conversion to meters courtesy of me and Google.

              • Very true although I must say there were a few thousand miles between that and us. Thankfully, Vermont's "Green Mountains were all carved out by glaciers both coming and going. We do have a fault running underneath it (sort of) and are prone to a couple of light jolts now and then but otherwise it's all pretty stable.

                Now I'm off to the hardware store to buy something sealed in plastic.

  1. I have a friend who leaves a number of sections of the Sunday newspaper in the shop as he never reads the likes of motoring section.

    maybe you should try, for reaction purposes, to leave the cardboard box from your cornfalkes and other outer layers in your local supermarket (assuming you have brought your box of tools with you)…..

    • Herself used to like the Sunday Times, but we just got bogged down under magazines and supplements so I stopped buying it. 

      Not a bad idea on returning the packaging though.  Just unwrap everything in the supermarket.  Has the added advantage that you'll be removing all the barcodes too.

  2. my wee 32gb micro card came in the mail last week..something that measures less than a thumbnail came in an 8×8 box with packing paper! I am still a little gobsmacked by it

    • Bloody hell!  You couldn't even stick a stamp on a micro card?  Couldn't they have used a small envelope?

      I once ordered an ink cartridge online.  It came by courier post in a box that must have been all of 24 x 18 x 4 inches.  It was basically a delivery of air!

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