Keyboard dyslexia

I received a fairly good education.

One thing I always had a fair grasp on was English, and the finer niceties of spelling and grammar. I am no potential Pulitzer or Nobel winner, but I know the difference between it’s and its.  I know when to use there, their or they’re. 

I won’t say I pride myself on my grammar and spelling but I like to think that my scribbles conform roughly with the accepted spellings and the general rules of syntax.

Lately I have been having a lot of trouble.

Herself occasionally reads this, and she has a habit of finding words that I have misspelled.  Now I do have a spell checker but the little fecker isn’t very smart and will pass a “bit” with no comment when it really should have been “but”, so if I use “to” where I should have used “too” [or even “two”?] it won’t say a word.  It will just leave me to face embarrassment later in the week.

The problem is that I know how to spell.  I know the basic elements of grammar.  But somehow the signal gets confused between the brain and the keyboard.  My fingers refuse to obey commands and go off at a tangent and type something completely different.  Sometimes they omit words entirely but the strangest phenomenon [and I actually didn’t have to check the spelling of that] is where the fingers substitute words.  There have been occasions where I meant to type “there” and have typed “what” instead.  I don’t know where those words come from.

It has reached the stage where I have to weed every sentence that I have typed.  Invariably the sentence will be full of little red squiggles highlighting my efforts, and I have to go back and remove all the extra letters that have mysteriously  appeared from nowhere.  For some reason the fingers have developed a habit of inserting extra “t”s, “n”s and “p”s, at random in places where they do not belong.

I have also noticed that my eyes are in cahoots with my fingers, in that the fingers will type something strange, and the eyes will not spot it.  I can read the strange bit several times over and not notice it.  Herself does though, which is a bugger.

I don’t know if it’s the onset of senility that’s causing all this bother [and where did the extra “e” come from when I just typed causeing?].

Or maybe it’s because I am typing a hell of a lot faster these days and I’m tripping over my grammatical shoe laces?

Or there again, it could be that most of the letters on my keyboard have rubbed off with overuse.

Yes.  That’s it.

It’s my keyboard that’s dyslexic.

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Comments

Keyboard dyslexia — 13 Comments

  1. You’re the one that inflicted the ‘edit’ cutback on us, we have to proofread every post now extra carefully. I find an old stlye clacky keyboard much more accurate than these newer soft touch ones.

    As an aside, I once noticed that the word spellcheck is not in the default spellchecker!  Strange eh?

    I’ll get me coat.

  2. Not Green – Edit cutback?  What the fuck is that when it’s at home?  I read the piece above several times and I can guarantee that there are misspellings somewhere.  To be honest, my spellchecker  [and spellchecker likes “spellchecker” but not “spellcheck”] really pisses me off.  I told it to use EN(GB) but the fucker still insists on all those damned Mercan misspellings.

    Fuck! Just had to re-edit this for errors that I missed despite reading it several times.

  3. The extra letters are being caused by the new software the NSA and CIA use to read our internet traffic. The money they had allocated for debugging the new software was spent on the GSA party in Vegas to reward them for holding down costs and for hookers in Columbia to keep the Secret Service serviced.

  4. “Or maybe it’s because I am typing a hell of a lot faster these days and I’m tripping over my grammatical shoe laces?”
     
    That seems to be happening to me too lately.
    Or maybe, no more than yourself, I’m getting senile as well – actually, that probably explains it.


  5. Jim C – Good point…  the CIA’s filtering software will never catch me as it assumes people can spell.  Heh!

    Mossy – “That seems to be happening to me too lately.”  So you reckon it’s infectious?  All right… Which one of you lot infected me?

  6. Just had to comment that I had noticed this phenomenon years back and gave up using spellcheck but have been referring to this strange happening as "keyboard dyslexia" since circa 2006/7 privately.

    So after feeling a little guilty all this time since 2006/7 for using the word "dyslexia", decided for the first time today the "18th of May 2014" to see if I am the only referring to this peculiarity this way and am very happily surprised to find others had not only recognized this bizarre happening but had also referred to it as  "keyboard dyslexia" .

    I can't quite fathom whether it is my keyboard my brain or interference by some gyn (Not Gin but Jynn), the spirits or just an interference that ensures the plans of the plan get carried out the way they have been planned… 

     

     

    • Welcome Keith!  This is quite an old post [over two years ago] so I had to re-read it to refresh my memory and of course found that the keyboard had beaten me again.  In other words – I still managed to find an error [I had typed "and the eyes will not spot it" and the keyboard had inserted "and the eyes will no spot it"].  The only conclusion I can come to is that I have got into the habit of typing certain words and subconsciously substitute those words for the words I intend to use.  Either that or I'm going insane.  I like the idea that there is some evil genie at play though.

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