This is rather tedious.

had yet another hospital appointment yesterday.

This one was in St James’s Hospital which is in a very awkward corner of Dublin and of course was timed to clash with the rush hour. It took me an hour and a half just to get there.

Luckily my fortunes changed then. I had barely sat down when my name was called. I got a load of dirty looks from the crowded waiting room as I walked out. Last in, first out. Tough shit, lads.

This was a consultation meeting which at least meant that I had no needles stuck in me and involved no massive machinery. It just involved me and the two plastic surgeons who are responsible for supplying me with some sort of artificial nose.

I barely said a word. The two lads spent the short meeting just chatting between themselves, peering at a screen which I gather showed the results of my last week’s CT scan and throwing the odd glance in my direction. I honestly have no idea why I was there at all.

After about ten minutes of ignoring me they agreed that I should go ahead with surgery. This is to insert two pins into me. These pins I gather are to run from the roof of my mouth up into the nasal cavity. That sounds lovely? Even better, the pins will have magnets attached which means my new nose will just clip into place. I’m a little concerned at this concept. Will I have to avoid the kitchen in case all the cutlery and everything else metallic will suddenly attaches itself to my face? Can I walk past iron railings without getting my face stuck to them? The two lads never mentioned the potential side effects.

So I apparently have to wait until the new year for this surgery and then another three or so months before I get my nose. In the meantime I just carry on living with a hole in my face.

It took well over an hour to get home again.

They could have just phoned me?