Exercising Sandy
I like to bring our Sandy for a five mile run every day.
I’m not up to that kind of running so I got an idea from our K8.
I let her [Sandy, not K8] out of the car and then drive for five miles at about 20 mph. Sandy runs like the clappers to keep up and she loves it. It’s great exercise for her.
The only snag is that once she got distracted by some sheep. Now, I don’t want her to be shot by some irate farmer for sheep worrying [how can sheep be worried? They don’t have enough brain cells], so I took to tying her to the car with a length of rope.
This has worked very well. But lately I’ve noticed something very sad.
She is getting old. She can no longer manage the full five miles.
I now have to drag her along the ground for the last mile.
Brilliant! Reminds me of a similar scene in National Lampoons Vacation.
Would Rollerboots suit her?
Or those new fangled ones have nowadays.
I lost the word kids somewhere. Blame the keyboard!
It should have read – Or those new fangled ones the kids have nowadays.
That’s an excellent idea, Grannymar. But it would mean that I would be bringing her for a roll. The whole idea is exercise.
Do they have remote control rollerboots, where I could drop the rollers for her when she gets tired?
Only put them on her for the return journey.
As a reward, I usually let her drive back. I can take a nap then.
What!
Why don’t you run along behind her?
Why not take Wouldye for a run too?
Grannymar – Too old for that kind of malarkey.
Brianf – That dog is so stupid he would
a) run in the wrong direction
b) try and eat the rope
c) try and eat the road
I keep clear of Wouldye. He does my head in.
No problem… just staple her paws to a skateboard with your Hilti gun.
I see you’ve moved to the UK again, K8.
As I said before, the point of the exercise is exercise. I have to bring her for a RUN. Not a skate, or a roll. Otherwise, I might as well hitch the trailer to the car. Or even let her sit inside the car.
Well why don’tya bring her on one of your 10K runs? I’ve a toddler in me jam jar. What’s your excuse?!?!
Use a tennis racquet and a ball. You sit in the deckchair and wallop the ball down the garden. Then snooze till she comes back.
10K runs? What are you talking about?
The only time I have ever run 10K is the time I was caught behind the bicycle shed with the headmaster’s wife.
Grannymar – Actually, K8 gave me a brilliant yoke. It’s like an ice-cream scoop. I can pick up the ball with it and then fling the ball into the distance, all without even breaking into a sweat. I don’t even have to bend down to pick up the ball….
Sell the car and buy a treadmill, that way you would’nt have to move at all. Attach a small bone to the handles of the treadmill, put Sandy standing on it and then start it off. A five mile run from your armchair.
I can’t sell the car. I need it for when I go down to the pub and get too p*ssed to walk back.
I thought of the treadmill idea, but she needs the fresh air. And anyway, when she runs out of steam, she’d just go shooting backwards into the wall. That would be cruel.
Yeah, but hilariously funny!!
Sadist!!!!
I love my dog.
You should love Wouldye too. I bet Wouldye would love to go for a run with ya’.
Why?
Sandy is a beautiful, intelligent, fun loving, loyal, loving dog.
Wouldye is an idiot who is only interested in rocks.
Me and sandy have spoke about this and we both agree that apart from bruno i am the best dog. so quit bein ruff.
ruff.
Wouldye,
Sandy told me that you bullied her into saying that. Sandy is afraid of you because you are MAD. INSANE. You should not be let out.
Grief!! I can’t believe I’m writing to a dog!!
Grandad,
All this talk of walking so many miles has got me thinking of my old Auntie Maggie.
In 2003 the doctor told her she needed more exercise so she started to walk 5 miles a day.
We don”t know where the hell she is by now.
My doctor asked me what was my sport. I told him – watching gardening programmes on television.
He told me to take up something more active.
So now I watch tennis on television.
Grandad,
Did the doctor never tell you to take tablets for so long and then skip a day? The tablets were never the problem, it was the skipping all day that caused the pain.
Have you seen the bizarre animation film The Belleville Rendezvous? (Les Triplettes des Belvilles). Bruno, the faithful dog, gets all sorts of treatment, including being used as the spare tyre! Sandy has it easy.
Ian,
Good for you!!!! Skipping all day. Very funny. You got the last word !!!!!!!!!!
Sheep, like the rest of us, worry about the economy. We all feel we are being fleeced.
Sneezy – that pun is so bad, I have deleted your comment.