Let me out
Once again, I’m under siege.
This happens every now and then and it is a mighty pain in the arse.
Some film crowd – I don’t know who – have taken over the place and the village residents are not only persona non grata but are actually banned from the village.
It is really annoying when the council [for they apparently are the guilty party] auction off the village as a film location with little or no consultation. Unless one has one’s ear to the ground the first notice will be little notices plastered around the place saying the village will be shut, with diversions in place. I doubt the businesses get much in the way of compensation either.
Naturally I have stuff I have to collect in the village today. Before that I have one of my many hospital appointments [Rapid Lung Section? What the fuck is that?] so have to find my way through the back roads to get there.
Worst of all there is a nasty rumour that Disney are back next month. The last time they were here they caused chaos and mayhem for weeks. The film – “Disenchanted” – bombed at the box office which has a nice touch of Karma about it.
i wonder if I’ll visit the coffee shop this afternoon?
Maybe I’ll just plough my way through their barriers and become an extra?
Why settle for being an extra?
Get a beret, dark glasses, and a megaphone. Become the assistant director of miscellaneous bullshit. Just walk around with a script yelling at various bystanders.
You there! Did I not tell you a few minutes ago that you are supposed to be standing behind that bench not sitting on it?
Better yet, while be an assistant director, tell them that’s a wrap for today, tomorrow we are shooting night time scenes, be back at 3:00 AM.
Oh, one James to another…this is good stuff!
Yup, I like the “Assistant Director” idea. As far as the megaphone is concerned just stroll around as advised previously while occasionally pointed it in a general direction and saying something nonsensical to nobody in particular. Something like “ARGLE BARGLE ARGLE BARGLE” works nicely for a start.
Kirk, this just keeps getting better and better.
This would also be a great opportunity to throw in a pitch for the coffee shop.