The above appeared on the BBC website so the advice must be of sufficient import to bear repeating.

I realise that modern generations are finding life increasingly difficult so any little bit of advice I give may be welcome. I’m sorry I don’t have a YouTube video which is the normal means by which any modern person learns how to boil a kettle of any other difficult domestic chore. By any yardstick, learning how to watch the Oxcars is vastly more complex.

So, sans YouTube, this is how you watch the Oscars.

First of all you have to find a yoke called a television. This will probably be in your sitting room which is the room you don’t sleep in or possibly eat in. It will probably be in a corner and looks like a black sheet of glass. It is controlled by a thing called a Remote. The latter will probably be found stuck down behind a cushion somewhere. I;m sorry but if you can’t find it then I am of no further help. Don’t worry – half the televisions on the planet are incapacitated due to a lost Remote so it’s no reflection on yourself.

Assuming you have fond the Remote the next step is to switch on the television. This should turn the black glass thing into a shiny colourful picture.

The next part of the process is quite simple. You just find a piece of text that says The Oscars, or something similar. You may have to wait until The Oscars are actually broadcast but that’s part of the fun. YouTube may be able to help at this stage.

So here it comes…..

How to actually watch……

Sit on a comfortable seat [or stand if you really want to] and look at the television.

That’s it. That is really all there is to it. You are now actually watching the Oscars.

It’s easy when you know how?