I received a phone call yesterday.

It was Anna. There are two Annas in my life at the moment, both from St Vincent’s Hospital. There’s Anna the Head who is with the ENT Department and there’s Anna the Shrink who is in charge of my mental state. The call yesterday was fro Anna the Shrink.

I get on very well with Anna. She’s a chirpy wee thing and we usually have a laugh whenever she contacts me. We had a couple of sessions when I was in hospital but now it’s done by phone, which suits me fine.

Yesterday she asked how I was mood-wise. Now I had just had one of my sleepless nights so my mood wasn’t the best.

“I’m pissed off” says I.

“Is this a result of the treatment you’re getting or is it the cancer itself causing it?” says she.

“No” says I. “It’s the whole business. The fact that I can’t get away from the subject of cancer and how I’m reminded of it every time I pass a mirror, try to eat or even speak. My whole life seems to revolve around it and I am sick of it.”

“Ah!” says she, “You have Cancer Fatigue. Don’t worry. Everyone who ever gets cancer gets the fatigue. I’m just surprised that it didn’t hit before now.”

So she went on to reassure me but basically said I just have to get used to it. It’s funny, but hearing something is perfectly normal eases the effects straight away.

Cancer does somewhat preoccupy me these days. This morning I had to make my way in on frosty roads for blood tests. Tomorrow I have to go back again for the Immunotherapy. Driving home I got a call from the lung crowd to say tat they had had a cancellation and could I come in in the morning to have a camera rammed down my throat. I declined as it clashed with the therapy, but it illustrates how I could become preoccupied with hospitals? It seems to be an endless procession of appointments.

I hate these appointments but they are trying to cure me so I’m not really complaining. The Immunotherapy seems to be doing its business and I would be insane to quit.

I just have to live with cancer and suck it up.