There is the startling news today that a photograph has been doctored.

Well slap me in the face with a cold kipper!

They don’t say what has been doctored or why and won’t show us the original to compare; they just say it has been photoshopped. Have they switched heads around or superimposed someone’s face on a naked body? Apparently not. There was just a bit of tidying but THIS IS NOT ALLOWED. If anyone is going to doctor a photograph then that is the sole prerogative of the press.

A disgusting carry-on.

I suppose I should mention Cillian Murphy too?

I’m happy for him but won’t gush like the rest of the population.

After all, I don’t remember him congratulating me when I won my Golden Spider?

Congratulations Cillian