Migrating to Marbella
I really do get the strangest emails.
In amongst the erectile dysfunction ones and the miracle cures for all the ailments [for which there are no known cures] that have to be availed of instantly before Big Pharma or Big Government takes them down, not to mention the regular offer of millions from Darkest Africa, I get the occasional one that is utterly baffling.
Today’s little offer of a lifetime:
Now I have never been to Marbella.
I have no intentions of ever going to Marbella.
Why the fuck would I buy a property there?
It looks horrific. It seems to be an endless mess of concrete with the odd tree thrown in and a bit of artificial lake. Is this an entire city they’re building?
As for the price, I assume that for €2,635,000 I get to own the entire development, but they do use the word “from” from which it appears that for my two and a half million I get their cheapest, smallest unit with the view of a blank concrete wall. Am I supposed to buy their amazing offer with the money I get from some forlorn widow in Africa?
I have just found the actual brochure [not via the email]. Prices do indeed go up to a very reasonable €4.830.000 [each].
I’ll pass, thanks.
If only I hadn’t bought all those pills on the internet, I’d have been jumping all over this. 2.6 million to live on a housing estate sounds idyllic.
A 2.6 million erection?
Developments like that continue to ruin the surrounds and show the glaring disportionate differences between the haves and have-nots! We are fucked!!!!
I can say with my hand on my heart that if I were a billioaire with a hankering for Marbella I would avoid that place like the plague. It has no soul whatsoever.
Reply to their fantastic offer asking if that wasn’t the same area where the U.S. Navy did their testing of nuclear weapons in the 1950’s.
I did indeed reply, offering to buy one of their fantastic properties. I asked if they would take a €10 deposit. They didn’t reply which doesn’t say much for their sales department.
When you shuffle off this morbid coil if you have been a very naughty boy you will spend unknown centuries in a place like this, before Auld Scratch sends his demons to drag you down to the hotter place.
I will console myself with the thought that at least it isn’t New York.
You may find that it actually is New York.