On being too likeable
I have a theory.
It stems from my visits to the village.
I went down earlier today and it was the usual story – damn all place to park. I finally grabbed the last spot which wasn’t too bad but it was the furthest from my destination which was too bad.
Upon completing my business I noticed my preferred parking spot was vacant, as was the one beside it. In fact there were vacant spots all over the place. Vast tracts of empty kerbs. And therein lies my theory.
We all know the laws of magnetism. Or some of us do. Or maybe one or two of us? One law states that like poles repel and opposite poles attract. Now my theory is very simple. I am very similar to the locals in many respects. Could it be that it is that this similarity, or likeness that is at play here? Do they somehow detect my presence and immediately have an unconscious compelling [or repelling] urge to head for the hills? Is it my very likeability that causes the village to empty?
It could also explain why I seem to attract so many foreigners when I’m in the coffee shop?
Just a thought?
One way to find out if you are on the right track is to place a life size cardboard cutout of yourself in front of the coffee shop. If you are correct in your suspicion, you will have a parking spot every time you go to the shop. You may need two cutouts, one with a smile and another with a rather gnarly frown to see which is more effective.
You are assuming of course that I am vain enough to have a cardboard cutout of myself? That is insulting. Anyway, Herself burned it years ago.
My suggestion was based on the assumption that being a published author the city would have a cutout stashed away for parades* and such like.
*In the event that you were unable to attend the event yourself.
Just get yer car Degaussed!
Have you got a coil big enough to encircle a car?
Is it really possible to be “too likeable”????. My theory is: Kill them with kindness, they won’t know what hit them!!!!
I have discovered in later years that acts of kindness tend to be greeted with great suspicion. If I open a door for a female I generally get glared at as if I were the local rapist.
Surely, as you were earlier, the first squadron in the shop would not have left, therefore you surprised them to the extent that they all thought you were on time, and therefore they were late?
Or was it market day?
Now I am utterly confused. And if there’s a market day in the village then I haven’t been informed. The odd time a van appears where a bloke sells fish. Does that count?