A declaration of war
Yes – war has been declared.
Me on one side and the dog on the other.
The breaking point came about the other night. I opened the garden door to let Penny out. She stuck her nose out but because it was raining she refused to go any further. Pushing from the rear had little effect as she planted her front legs so I just lifted her arse in the air. I tried a different tactic and pushed her from the side. She fell out into the garden and I closed the door.
She went off somewhere and reappeared a while later. I let her in. She promptly dropped three shits on the carpet. That was the moment war was declared.
I have already attacked the front of the house. Carpets were shampooed and then a layer of bicarbonate of soda laid down. A couple of hours later I vacuumed the lot. The air is now semi-breathable in that part of the manor. Penny is banned from that area unless accompanied and only after she has peed elsewhere.
The next area of attack is the rug in the back room where I sit. This is a favourite spot of Penny’s to have a squat-and-flood. The problem is that with the pattern on the rug it’s difficult to see where she has graced the floor and it’s all getting a bit sniffy.
I have sent off for a UV light which should prove interesting. I have visions of switching it on and the finding the entire floor glowing.
I wonder if UV light makes poo fluoresce?
We had the smell of cats piss in my downstairs office for ages, but we don’t have a cat and I can’t see how a stray could have got in. Nevertheless, I ordered one of these UV torches and shone it all over the carpet, with no obvious signs of pussy urination. The smell went away eventually and I’ve never used the torch since.
If it’s any consolation, I received my UV torch and tried it out on dog pee. I know it was dog pee because the dog had just done it. Nothing! UV apparently doesn’t work or else it’s the wrong kind of UV [or pee].