The general election is in full swing this week.

I have no interest in it other than to collect the more outrageous promises.

Possibly the best [so far] is to extend the Dublin MetroLink south to University College Dublin on the southside. This is a fairly clever promise seeing as MetroLink doesn’t exist, so extending something which doesn’t exist is a bit of a paradox. [MetroLink is an underground rail system for Dublin which was mooted some years ago but was dropped due to cost – some 3 billion, which knowing our gubmint would easily exceed 6 billion.]

The only promise I have seen which affects me personally [apart from being hammered by “carbon taxes” is a €5 increase in pensions. Be still my beating heart!

The whole circus is reminiscent of a previous election where Dustin the Turkey [a puppet] ran on the slogan which I used as a title for this scribble. Unfortunately he didn’t win.

There is also some confusion as to how the future gubmint will be made up. Fine Gael are willing to go into coalition with Fianna Fáil, but Fianna Fáil say they won’t go into coalition with Fine Gael. Both have stated categorically that they won’t go into coalition with Sinn Féin which is the only other party likely to get any number of seats.

Personally I think they should run with Sinn Féin as any party which has cone into coalition in the past has paid the price heavily. The greens were hammered after supporting a minority, as were Labour. The Progressive Democrats were hammered so badly that they no longer exist. So a Sinn Féin coalition would nicely see them vanish into obscurity.

Our Magnificent Minister for Health – the Child Simon Harris – is in my constituency. Unfortunately they don’t have a “definitely don’t want this cunt” option on the ballot paper, otherwise I would definitely make an effort to vote.