I am getting quite a lot of emails lately.

They are all much the same flavour – “Thank you for your email.  I shall be out of the office blah blah and will contact you on my return”.

Now I haven’t written to these people so that means only one thing….  some steaming festering cunt is using my email address to spam people.

If you get an email from me and it’s from admin@ then I DIDN’T SEND IT.  I hardly ever use that address so that is a dead giveaway as far as I’m concerned.

If you are the person using my email address then I have a wee message for you –

I hope you come down with a severe dose of Galloping Knob Rot.

I hope your tackle turns green and very painful and that you suffer agonies with it until it finally drops off in a year or two.

I hope your missus beats the crap out of you before running off with someone else and making you a right laughing stock.

I hope your kids all become crack addicts and rob you blind to feed their habits.

I hope your house burns down, preferably with you in it.

In short, I hope you die roaring.

Cunt.