I like playing around with the system. By the system, I mean life in general or more specifically, those parts of life where we are expected to conform.

You know the kind of thing – you are asked on a form if you are Male or Female so you answer Yes. Or you get one of those voice recognition telephone systems and you start using profanities to see how good the programmers are. Or you ask for a return ticket, and they ask “where to” and you answer “here, of course”.

I thought I would like to have a little game with Google.

Now I know a lot of people are finding my humble little blog by way of Google. But some of them are probably not finding quite what they expected. I’m sure the people who did a search for “what is good about spiders been around the house” might have been a little surprised to find the ramblings of an old git. But not as surprised as the people looking for “trinny & susannah big knickers”.

I had one visitor who actually searched for “www”. I’d say they got a few results! A bit like sticking your head out the window and seeing if you can find any air out there.

I have had some interesting searches. A few taken at random are “sandy balls”, “bertie to be grandad”, “pregnant boobs” [I wonder if the last two were connected in some way?], “my head is all over the place” and one that probably found exactly what they were looking for – “senior citizen psychological problems”.

Now suppose I start writing about nothing at all, and just throw in a few teaser words for Google?

Suppose I start using words like teenage and sex and nude and photos? Am I going to get a lot of very disappointed visitors? I have already used words like “big boobs” and “small boobs” [perfectly innocently of course]. Words like sexy and naughty should be good too. I could use quite a few rude expressions but I don’t want to offend my readers. But naked and bare should be good. I had a couple looking for “voyeur”. Dirty gits. Or I could write about the great tits and the blue tits who are currently taking peanuts from my bird feeder. Not to mention the cock that crows every morning. The list is endless and interesting.

But the person looking for “four elderly women with hairy armpits naked in bed with a gorilla” is going to have to be disappointed.

I don’t mention that kind of thing here.