I was talking to my friend Sam the other day. I have mentioned him before. He is the bloke who set this site up for me.

He is the one who was so annoyed at the Golden Spider Awards.

He asked me how the site was going, and I told him that it was going very well. I said that it had about 5000 visits a day and that 6 of them were from outside the CIA. He was impressed. He suggested I advertise on the site. I said go ahead, so he set it up for me.

Now some of you may have noticed the ads. Personally I don’t find them very attractive, but Sam said to give them a go anyway.

However, I am finding them somewhat amusing. Apparently, according to Sam, Google analyses my page to see what I’m writing about, and then puts in appropriate ads.

So I wrote about my sperm giving up cigarettes, and immediately the ads were all about giving up smoking. I wrote about “Baby on Board” stickers and the low IQ of the people who have them. The site was inundated with ads for improving your IQ.

For some reason, they suddenly started advertising about surveys yesterday. Now, I had just written one of my little rants about my old friend George W [I have to do that every now and again, because he annoys me so much], so what were Google thinking? Are they hinting that it’s time for an election in America? Are Google more intelligent than I thought?

God knows how it works. [oh dear, – now I’m going to get lots of religious ads].

So maybe in the future I’ll start writing about really obscure things, just to see what ads come up.

Mind you, they’ve missed out on a golden opportunity. If they knew that 4994 of my readers were in Langley, they could be advertising vans with blacked out windows, and dark sunglasses, and cufflinks you can talk to. They’d make a killing there. [Google, that is. The CIA can do their own killing.]

I notice I’ve just used the word “golden” twice [whoops, now it’s three times] so I’ll expect a few ads about the gold market.

I’m not going to retire on the strength of my earnings. Mainly because I’m retired anyway. But I am begining to spend my profits. I was able to give our Sandy an extra dog biscuit last night.