I am home!

I started yesterday with the feeling I would be incarcerated for another few days or weeks yet.

Then the Oncologist arrived [out of darkest Africa!]. He was a very nice chap who leaned over the bed and stared me right in the face. A little unnerving. Anyways, no chemo therapy or radiation. I am to go on Immunotherapy instead, and as an out patient. It’s confirmed I have two more areas of cancer – one in my neck and one on my upper lip. Both, he reckons should be treatable. And he issued the immortal words – as far as he is concerned I can go home immediately.

I then had to wait for the ENT mob. The Professor wasn’t in yet so I had an anxious wait. Then they announced that yes, they reckoned I could go immediately!

So frantic packing and getting dressed and then waiting for prescriptions, someone to remove my hated cannula and a dressing for my hole. Naturally this took a lot longer than it should. Eventually though all was sorted and a call went out for VGF to come and collect me. I had hoped to drive my own car home but Daughter was caught up with work and is still using the new car.

I nearly didn’t make it out of the hospital, as I collapsed in the car park, though not quite a full collapse – I had to grasp onto some railings while the world went black and spun around me. A very kind Samaritan minded me while VGF brought the car around. I was as weak as the proverbial kitten BUT WAS NOT GOING BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.

the drive home was bliss. Very heavy traffic but I didn’t give a shit. I was happy. Caught my first glimpse of my new car as we drove past Daughter’s gaff. Yes – it’s red.

i’m home now. I had a great night in my own bed. I got a chance to sit in my car and play around with the controls without actually driving it, It’s nothing like I have ever driven before and I’m looking forward to getting to know it.

Being home is very strange. It’s the silence and the greenery. It’s the comfort of my armchair. It’s the lack of nurses poking and pricking me. It’s the overwhelming feeling of being my own master again. The apple trees are laden with fruit which I haven’t seen in decades.

I’m still very weak and use the crutch but already I’m feeling stronger. Life isn’t back to normal and I’m not sure when that will ever happen. I passed on my shot of whiskey last night as drinking is still problematic. The pipe has been enjoyed at last but is difficult with only one lip! Where there’s a will though… last night I had my first madras curry. it was fucking delicious! i have two more in the fridge!

The arrangement at the moment is that I am to spend at least a week here on my own to build up my strength and to see how I can cope unaided. If all goes well, Herself will be joining me in a week or so. she is insanely jealous of me but understands the situation. We have yet to fire up all the help that is available to us.

This is not the end though. In fact this is only the beginning. I have my first Immunotherapy next week and that is to continue at regular intervals for years to come. It may not be pleasant with all sorts of nasty side effects but I am a fighter. I am determined not to let a drop of cancer get the better of me.

The rest of my life has started.