To kill or not to kill
Reasons to euthanise the dog –
- No more massive vet’s bills every month.
- No more having to bulk buy rolls of kitchen paper to mop up piss.
- No more having to mop up piss puddles on the floor.
- No more slipping on piss puddles I have missed.
- No more having to watch every step to avoid piles of shit on the floor.
- No more scraping shit off my slippers/shoes.
- No more tripping over the dog when she persists on getting in my way.
- Maybe saving what’s left of the wood flooring.
- No more hauling her to her feet when her legs give way.
Reasons NOT to euthanise the dog –
- ?
I’m much too fucking soft.
In facing one of the hard questions in life, the question if not if we are ready, but is the dog ready. My dog was 16 and in chronic pain. Dogs are stoic but it was apparent the pain medication was not very effective any more. She painfully got up and stiffly walked over to me and put her head on my leg and looked up at me. I know I am Anthropomorphizing, but I felt she was telling it was time to let her go. We waited for the kids to come home and say good bye then I made one last trip to vet and sat beside her one last time. Lord knows it was not something I wanted to do, but something I had to do.
I have been down that road before. Our last dog Sandy was diagnosed with a tumor and lived very happily for nine months. Then suddenly overnight she shut down and I knew it was time. She quietly went to sleep after the injection while I stroked her. It cut me to shreds but I knew it was right.
Penny is a strange dog. She shows little outward interest in people, dogs or anything really. She has never wagged her tail and normally if anyone tries to pet her, she just walks off. On the other hand she follows me everywhere and every now and then she’ll poke me with her nose to let me know that she’s there. If I leave the house without her she’ll wait patiently at the door for my return and then show complete indifference when I arrive back. Outwardly she’s a very healthy dog with bright eyes and a cold wet nose. She seems happy but, with a dog who shows little emotion, it’s hard to tell. In spite of the arthritis she still walks around the house inspecting everything and shows little sign of pain. It’s not time yet and may not be for a long time. It’s very hard to know when your dog is weird?
It’s not soft to love a dog Grandad, especially one like your Penny. You’ve been through this before, and you will know when to do the right thing for her. Then the tears will come. It is the price of love, and you wouldn’t be human otherwise. Even reading your piece and writing this comment brings back memories of our own old mutt Tilly last year. I’ll be thinking of you and Penny.