A pint is yer only man
I drink tea.
I actually drink quite a lot of it. My mug has a pint capacity and I probably fill it between four or six times a day.
The irony is that I am renowned for my coffee making skills. Visitors to The Manor light up at the offer of one of my coffees. I have one of those machines with fancy lights and a nozzle that makes rude noises into the milk. I actually enjoy making coffee but very rarely drink it myself at home.
When I am out and about though the story is different. I would never order a tea in a pub or coffee shop – it always has to be coffee [or in the case of the pub, something a little stronger]. Somehow tea in a coffee shop is an anathema and against the natural order of things, and I wouldn’t dream of upsetting the balance.
Then I read this this morning.
So two cups of tea can reduce the risk of my mortality? Wow! A 19% chance of not dying? That’s not bad, and that’s from only two cups. Several pints must reduce my risk of mortality to close on 100%?
I am immortal!
Careful of what you wish for, you might just get it!
An eternity of wokedom, no ta!
That’s Marxists buggered then, They only drink herbal tea.
Because proper tea is theft. 😀
I’ll get my coat. 🙁
A Pint of Plain is Your Only Man
When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night –
A pint of plain is your only man.
When money’s tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt –
A pint of plain is your only man.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare –
A pint of plain is your only man.
In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life –
A pint of plain is your only man.
It has to be read out by a Dubliner though –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvmB0VvCo24
That is a pome.
If it had not been for the pints o’ plain Flan O’Brien would have passed away long before his death at age 54. Lovely writing.
Your personal risk of mortality is always 100%, the only variable is timescale.
You may be able to reduce your risk of mortality in a given time-frame, but not absolutely: you’re gonna die, I’m gonna die, we’re all gonna die, that’s a 100% statistical certainty. Anyone suggesting otherwise usually has something to sell.
Spoilsport.