Life is eventful at the moment.

Nothing momentous, just things that are outside the normal routine.

The saga of the washing machine continues. I sent a mail to the shop where I bought it and explained that the machine wasn’t working properly. I got a reply almost immediately giving details of the purchase and a number to ring.

I rang the number and had to wade through interminable messages about Covid restrictions and how my call is important to them and that they are recording every word I say [presumably in case I become abusive or threatening]. Having gone through that I had the usual stepping stones of menu choices and finally got on to a very nice young girl. I had to give her reams of answers about my name, address, post code, machine model number and so on. She asked what I had done to try to fix the problem. I told her I had just tried different programmes and the fucking thing wasn’t heating the water. Ah, says she, have you tried a Factory Reset? What the fuck? Apparently I had to switch the machine off, unplug it and leave it for two hours. I thought that only worked with computers?

The machine was doing one of its test runs at the time so I let it finish [cold]. I unplugged the machine which was a pain in the arse as the socket is at the back of a kitchen cupboard behind all the sink plumbing. Three hours later I fired up the machine again and did a wash. Cold. Fuck!

I phoned the number again and had a refresh of all their Covid restrictions and all the rest. I finally got onto a young chap who started asking me my details all over again. I interrupted him and told him I had a reference number given to me by the young lass. That saved a lot of bother. Have you tried a Factory Reset he asked? Indeed I have, says I. He sounded impressed. So he told me an engineer would have to call out and he emailed all the details to the engineer and then gave me a number to ring.

I rang the number. A somewhat crusty woman answered and said the engineer was out, or something. I gave her my mobile number.

I haven’t heard anything since.

In the meantime, I got the carpet cleaner to work properly. Very Good Friend arrived this morning and was delighted at this new toy. She attacked the Red Couch and the Red Chair. She also attacked the carpet and the floor. The furniture now looks like new, in a pristine state, if a bit damp. It saves buying a new suite, which Herself was threatening to order. Penny is having a nervous breakdown as her seating arrangements are all wet.

I see Her Magnificence The Queer Queen is having a bit of a bash over the water. They announced her arrival having apparently been transported down from the Starship Enterprise. That’s class.

Talking of Queen, I inroduced Herself to Jeff Lynne and the E.L.O. last night.

Another convert.