2022 and all that
It is a subject that has occasionally amused me over the years.
At some point in the last short while the Earth passed a point in its orbit around the Sun. Now this point is invisible. There are no signposts out there or indeed anything physical. The point is a purely arbitrary point that can only be established by counting the Earth’s rotations since it last passed that arbitrary [and purely imaginary] point in space. If they for some strange quirk of fate lost count then the arbitrary point would be lost forever and they’d have to invent a new one.
Having reached this arbitrary point the inhabitants started celebrating, not the passing of the point but at different times during the rotation of Earth upon its axis. So celebrations at one point on the planet could be winding down while others have several hours to go before they even start.
So what is the significance of all this? Well, for a start it means the throwing away of calendars and diaries. For some it means the start of a period where they start putting the wrong dates on cheques. For me it means I get a pay rise form Our Glorious Gubmint of â¬5 [I haven’t yet decided what I’m going to spend this on]. Some people make resolutions which they will break in weeks, in not days. For the rest of the planet – the birds, plants, trees, animals, fish and insects it means … nothing. The weather today is much the same as yesterday – remarkably warm and windy. The grass is still long and shaggy. The trees are still bare. So far as Nature is concerned, nothing has changed.
So why the big hoo-ha? I often wonder.
However convention tells me that this is the time when I greet people with a wish they they enjoy the next orbit of the Sun.
Happy New Orbit Everyone!
Arbitrary perhaps, but any excuse for a party!
As the Earth travels at approximately 66,000mph on its way around the sun (relative to that invisible fixed point), the ~24hours of “Happy New Years!” wished around the globe are spread over 1,580,000 miles of space. I have other useless facts up my virtual sleeve…
Oh, and Happy New Year to you!
Useless facts like that are a brilliant addition to my ever increasing store. Unfortunately I have forgotten most of them again. And many happy returns.
But, of course, it’s not really 2022 is it? It’s more like 4500000002022 – or around 8022 if you suffer certain bizarre biblical beliefs. And if we can’t even agree what year number it is, then what’s the point of counting them, apart from having a party?
Happy orbiting to all.
Pick any number you like. Or pick any day of the year to start. n fact we could celebrate New Year every day [just to be sure].
From 1155 until 1752. New Year’s Day was on 25th March, the Feast of the Annunciation.
When England switched from the Julian to the Gregorian Calendar, eleven days were lost, thus the New Year began on 6th April, which is why to this day Britain has such a bizarre tax year.
Personally I think it should be the 21st of December. At least that would have some astronomical sense?
Way back when people had just learned how to count days by scratching on a big flat rock with a small pointy rock there were the cults who called themselves Climate Scientists.
This bunch of cults noticed that as time passes the daylight periods got shorter and warned their tribe members that unless the cults got the pick of mammoth meat, the honey, antelope skin and virgins (male or female, equally attractive) the daylight would dwindle away completely. They had graphs to prove it and the cults all agreed that this was the Settled Science.
And, lo, the cults got what they wanted. They took the meat, the skins, the fermented honey and the virgins to a high place.
The simple folk heard the screams of laughter from above which they had been told to expect as the cults worked their Science Magic.
And lo, the daylight periods got longer.
This was repeated for a few years to everyone’s satisfaction until a bad batch of honey booze killed the cults.
Then when the days grew short again the people were at a loss as to what they should do.
Then one grunted the equivalent of- This might sound like a crazy idea, but it might just work.
Let us all take meat and honey booze and the rest up to the high place and try and copy the cults.
Which they did.
And lo, it came to pass that the daylight increased. And the people did say – We don’t need no cults, we don’t need no Climate Science.
And so from then right up to present day the ritual continues. A good side effect has been that every Autumn the population gets a boost.
So now you know.
But the cults are fighting back. Trying to persuade us that it is wrong for the plebs to take the booze in cheerful groups and that only the cults know how to carry out the Ceremony.
Happy New Year. Don’t let the cults win.
That is the perfect metaphor for modern times. It can be applied to the Virus, Climate, Smoking or just about any of the modern religions. Why the fuck didn’t I write it? Maybe I’ll just steal it in its entirety in a future post!
“For me it means I get a pay rise form Our Glorious Gubmint of â¬5”
My Social security, (and I’m really not feeling all that secure) went up by about $35 after taxes and Medicare premiums.
I’m putting that in the savings account.