What a lot of pricks
Be still my beating heart.
The excitement is mounting.
The whole country is holding its breath.
Today is the day when they will give the one millionth jab!
By some miracle, there will just happen to be cameras and reporters hanging around the precise person at the precise time the jab is given. We will see it all on the news tonight. There goes the needle. Victim declares they are in raptures of excitement. Everyone stops what they are doing to give a round of applause. The country is saved and we can all relax.
But how do they know where the millionth dose is? Arms are being jabbed all over the country in various centres and probably in politicians’ private homes as well. Would it not be a tad embarrassing if they discovered that the millionth dose was about to be administered to some friend of the TeaShop MeHole Martin?
I see the teachers are now threatening to strike if they don’t get their jab. They readily admit that the latest system of vaccinating people according to age is sensible. They have been told that a fifty year old has a zillion times greater chance of dying than a thirty year old. They have no argument with that. What they are miffed about is that they were promised to be high on the queue. Then the rules were changed and the cry went up -“but you promised!”
These are supposed to be intelligent people. They look after the country’s kids.
Yet they actually believed a politicians promise?
There’s no hope for us.
It would be even more embarrassing if the millionth recipient keeled over shortly afterwards…
All this morning there has been a mysterious shortage of magic liquid and all jabbing has stopped.
Except in one jabsite where the 999980th jabbee is waiting with others.
The "others" are arranged in a queue such that jabbee number 1,000,000 is a photogenic grateful recipient, in perfect health. She/he will raise arms and cry out "Praise be to the blessed Health Service and its glorious and wise leaders."
They do not want a scruffy old Grampa gurning at the cameras with tobacco stained teeth and whiskey breath leching at the bonny nurse. And she will be bonny, a rosy cheeked, smiling eyed (mask hides the pretty lips) colleen.
Then throughout the land the missing stocks of magic fluid will be discovered, like Democrat votes, under the table, and full scale jabbing will recommence.
"a scruffy old Grampa gurning at the cameras with tobacco stained teeth and whiskey breath leching at the bonny nurse" I beg your pardon! I do not gurn.
I thought it was libellous meself.
In a past life I managed the roll-out of a large company's new IT network, as we approached the 1,000th user it was reckoned we should 'celebrate' that fortunate individual with flowers, fizz, chocolates, a photo-spread in the in-house puff-sheet etc.
The risible debate which went on to 'select' the 1,000th user probably exceeded the technical debate in designing the whole network, aimed at ensuring that the 'fortunate one' represented all facets required to tick a vast number of boxes. I soon tired of it and left the PR bullshitters to do their worst – I actually knew who the true 1,000th user was, but that secret remained with a select few realists, that poor anonymous sod got nothing but a new IT service.
>> These are supposed to be intelligent people. They look after the country’s kids.
I have several teacher friends, who generally are sensible.
However, my experience with the majority of pedagogues is that they have never had a job outside school.
They go school, university, teacher training, school, and rarely meet real people.
Even their university tutors are teachers.
If they fail as teachers, they get promoted to education administration, and so it goes on……
The "Peter Principle" in action.
Aren’t teachers supposed to be on holiday. Again.
This "Grampa"? Did I say it was you?
But if the cap fits…….
For some reason I can't reply after a comment. Am using Kindle Fire.