Pride after a fall
I am feeling quite pleased with myself.
Chuffed, so I am.
You see, yesterday I managed to do something quite difficult. I managed to take a brand new laptop with two operating systems on it and brick it.
Operating systems these days are pretty much idiot proof. It takes quite a drop of expertise to thoroughly and totally fuck up the system beyond all repair. Or FUBAR, if you like. But I managed it. Totally fucked. I switch on the laptop and all I get is a message along the lines of “error: command not found” whereupon it reboots itself and comes up with the same message and goes into an endless loop.
I hit the old F12 thing and meddled around with various analytical stuff and each test said my laptop was fine. I was delighted for it, but it still didn’t work. My problem now was all the important shit on the hard drive, such as the two carefully crafted pages of The Book that took me weeks to write.
So I stuck in a Linux USB thing and retrieved everything important and stuck it on a portable slab.
I went back to playing with the F12 toy. There’s a ton of options in there but I finally found a “Restore to factory settings” option. I hit that one this morning. It gave grave warnings of doom, that everything I had ever done would be consigned to a black hole and implied that I was effectively to be reborn anew. I went ahead anyway.
I sat back, sipped my mug of tea and tried to fix my lighter which broke last night [haven’t I been having a fun time?]. The laptop displayed its progress with a little percentage thing. The latter wasn’t just your normal 20% type one – it went to two decimal places so it would display 42.65% and about ten minutes later it would display 42.67%.
To cut an enormously story short, it completed. I then had my re-introduction to Cortana who started yelling at me. For those of you who have never had the pleasure, Cortana is an intensely irritating female American computer voice that cheerily greets you and demands that you talk back. Fuck that. It switched that off and carried on setting up Windows.
Eventually I was back to square one in Windows. All I have to do is install my necessary software and replace The Book. I decided to leave that for the moment and reboot to see what would happen. Well, fuck me but there was the old boot options menu. For the first time ever, Windows hadn’t fucked it up. A bleedin’ miracle!
I booted into Linux and here I am. Nothing lost. No formatted disks or any of that crap. I’m back in the game.
And I fixed my lighter too.
But I’m still very proud of my computer skills that I could breach every failsafe measure and brick a laptop.
That takes some real skill these days.
At my age I'm bloody entitled to brag. I'll show those youngsters…..
I am of the opinion, Cortana was named after some software engineer's girlfriend after a bad breakup.
It should've been named "Gus", with a rough, gravelly voice that barked orders and hurled insults rather than make suggestions.
That would make no difference. You would be amazed at how fast I am at hitting the shut-the-fuck-up button.
Yep, bricking a laptop, well done. How did you manage that? In case I need to do it to someone…
It was just a teeny weeny itsy bitsy tweak to the GRUB setting. Linux was quite happy about it but of course Windows had to throw a hissy-fit and crash everything. Fucking primadonna.
James, First, Software Engineer, like Social Scientist is an oxymoron.
Third. Software guys never lose their girlfriends. They just hold the Computer ON button in for seven seconds and back she comes, exactly as when first met and no memory of bad habits.
And they also where the "mute" button is.
Software seems to have become more and more prescriptive, presumably to ensure that most people are trapped within it.
Or in my case, trapped without?
Oh dear. If I had only known. Linux Mint 20/20.1 has a "Restore Grub" app thingy where you boot up said laptop into a live session from the thumb drive (whatever) that holds your Linux Mint image and use that app thingy to restore grub and you probably would have been set.
Could you possibly screw it up again and try that just to see if it works? I mean, you've already backed everything up after all.
Ah, it's actually called "Boot repair" and it's only available during the live session as I said. I just thought I should add a correction here.
Ahem! [*cough*] That little utility is what screwed the system up in the first place!! And I couldn't find any solutions on the Interweb so had to do The Drastic and reinstall everything.
Incidentally, I'm still having problems. When I power up I usually get a "grub>" prompt, or the boot menu. Choosing Mint in the latter I get an "error: program not found". The only solution is to keep doing Ctrl+Alt+Delete until I finally get through which is more than a tad frustrating. I'm considering the Ultimate Solution – reformat the entire disk and start from a virginal machine.
Now that's a bit odd that it didn't work. If you do pick the Ultimate Solution are you going to attempt both Mint and Windows or just stick to one? Inquiring mind wishes to know.