My mobile phone rang yesterday morning.
I should mention that I hadn’t been able to get to sleep until around half four to five, so a call at half nine in the morning wasn’t particularly welcome.
Anyhows, the call was from a delivery bloke who wanted to give me a chair. He said he’d be outside my door in ten minutes.
So I lashed on my clothes just as two huge lorries reversed up the lane and stopped at my gate. Fuck me! Two lorries? What size chair was this? Our new nurse [our old one I believe is doing quite well down in the funny farm] from the Health crowd had mentioned something about a chair but I had dismissed the comment as I dismiss all comments from the HSE. I hadn’t reckoned on the new nurse being so damned efficient. She keeps sending us stuff which we don’t need and the garage is filling nicely.
So two hefty blokes hauled a hefty chair out of the back of one lorry. I had to open the garden doors to let them in as the front door was too narrow. They proceeded to plonk the chair in the middle of the floor and one of them plugged it in. They left. Mercifully the second lorry was only there because they liked to travel in convoys.
Out of curiosity I plugged the chair in and started playing with it. Fuck me but it’s a miracle of contortion. It goes everywhere from a completely flat bed through a recliner, and a normal chair and ultimately tips the unfortunate inhabitant onto the floor.
My problem now was where to put it. I couldn’t leave it in the middle of the floor as I couldn’t get past it. So I spent most of the rest of the day shoving furniture around the room. It was a bit like one of those puzzles where you have to slide blocks around to get them into some sort of pattern. Penny was rather upset as at one stage her chair had ended up in the kitchen which she didn’t like too much.
I managed it in the end. The [small] room now contains a couch and three armchairs – Penny’s one, a recliner and the new gizmo. Somehow I’m going to have to get rid of something somewhere.
Herself hasn’t been able to get downstairs yet so she hasn’t seen it. I can’t wait to see how far I can chuck her by putting the chair into an upright position.
In the meantime I can practice on the cat.