I was living in blissful ignorance until now.
However the peace of my little world has been shattered when I learn that apparently this is World Vegan Month.
Now I’m not quite sure what this means. To me, it frankly means nothing, and I don’t care if it’s Vegan, Venezuelan, Vegetarian or Viagran Month, but I am a tad bemused by the whole concept of a month dedicated to some fucking fad..
Is this the month I am supposed to go Vegan? Is it a sort of free trial offer? I am asked if I would consider going Vegan and the answer is a loud resounding and very definite NO.
I watched Claire Byrne Live, which is a discussion programme on RTE on Monday and there was a right twat on. Need I say any more than he was from “Friends of the Earth”? According to him the entire planet is in imminent danger of collapse unless I give up eating cows. By sheer coincidence I had just had a fine meal [my own recipe and cooked by yours truly] of cow stew and it was delicious. Last night I had a salmon bake thingy and it too was delicious but presumably means I am now personally guilty of denuding the oceans and endangering the salmon species. Tonight there is shepherd’s pie on the menu which consists of a potato layer over a lovely base consisting mainly of cow. So I am indeed personally killing of the planet, and you know what? I couldn’t give flying shite.
The problem with Vegans is their smugness and virtuosity. They feel that they can somehow look down on us omnivores because we are guilty of wholesale slaughter and just think of all those cute little calves, lambs and piglets that we are massacring and then digesting. They conjure up images of half a cow lying on the dining table, oozing blood and guts while we rip and tear into the carcase like voracious wolves. They can fuck off.
What they fail to see is that if I stopped eating meat it would have absolutely zero effect on anything except myself. I enjoy my beef stews, my roast lamb and my steaks so the only person who would be affected would be my good self. Possibly the only benefit of such a move would be that I could then become the horribly smug bollix that everyone avoids. But I don’t class that as a benefit.
If someone wants to become Vegan then that’s their business, but don’t ever try and make it my business.
I love the delicious smell of frying smoked rashers too much.