The speed of light — 3 Comments

  1. There was a time, oh about 10 years back, when ‘Live Chat’ (stress the ‘live’ because often one found one was talking with a computer)was the best way to get quick results from any large company. Nowadays of course most firms that still provide a live chat service do their best to hide it away. Both Amazon and ebay go to great lengths to get you to phone their ‘help’lines…so my first question on getting through to an actual human being on live chat is “Please explain to me why YOU discriminate so against the Hearing Disabled” (stress on the words ‘disabled’ and ‘discrimination’) It is astonishing how few ‘customer service agents’ realise that old deaf gits like me would rather not ‘just ring our helpful team’. It is also quite astonishing how quickly that intractable problem can be solved after they have heard the word ‘discrimination’…and if that doesn’t do the trick then I mention that their unreasonableness means I shall have to take more major anti-depressants. That rarely fails….but if it does though then I have to roll out the Nukes…’is it because I’m female,did you miss the ‘ne’ on the end of my Christian name?’

    • Alternatively, open up with “English I speak not” and then go into a string of gobbeldygook just to hear the reaction?  Of course you are unlikely to get your problem solved but it passes a few minutes of idle time.

  2. Good heavens! You have achieved the impossible. Not only did you actually find an actual number to your service provider but you also managed to knock a decent amount of money off your monthly bill. And I take it you didn’t even have to speak with anyone from India?

    I stand (or sit rather) in awe, sir.

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