It has been a great few days for research.
First there was a the research that stated that there was no safe level of drinking, that I briefly mentioned a couple of days ago.
Incidentally, Il Papa in one of his long lectures or speeches or whatever you want to call ’em, made reference to the miracle of turning water into wine. “Imagine if that hadn’t happened” said he. “It would have been a very dull wedding” which is true. So apparently the Church of Rome is at odds with the Church of Health?
That was followed up by another that hangovers are worse than we ever thought. Yup, even after the old headache and nauseous stomach have gone we are still a danger to society. I can’t decide whether that’s third hand alcohol or second hand hangover but that’s by the by. Leastwise I can see that little dribble of drivel cropping up again in the future in a bid to stop us all drinking.
This was followed up with a piece on Cheddar cheese. It seems that some time ago the poor innocents out there were told that Cheddar cheese was very bad for them as it raises cholesterol or something. Now new research has proved just how wrong that bit of old research was. It all lends weight to my little theory that if we wait long enough they will finally come to the same conclusion that many of us already know – that smoking actually has benefits and that second hand smoke is totally harmless.
Another piece of so called research has come up with the notion that our sleep habits can threaten longevity or some such nonsense. If we sleep more than eight hours a night then we risk all sorts of heart problems, which means presumably that all teenagers are fucked? The same applies to people who sleep less than six hours which is great news to pile on top of poor insomniacs?
What do they propose people do with this bit of nonsense? How do they propose that the Healthists will control their sleep? It’s not like cutting back on alcohol or skipping the odd burger or five, as sleep is sleep. If you can’t do it then you’ll have to rely on Dr Pharma, and if you like a long sleep you’ll have to set an alarm? Both have potential problems that are likely to be worse than the remote chance of a stroke in later life?
I think that last piece indicates beautifully the problem with these pieces of “research”, namely that we are all different and we are all individual. Some people can thrive on six hours or less of sleep a night while others are happy to have a daily lie in. They have taken results from a huge number of people, massed them all into one set of figures and then assume that those figures apply to everyone. One size fits all. Anyone who has ever bought a pair of shoes knows that that is a load of bollox.
One fact cheers me though. I have never been included in any of their surveys, studies or research so I therefore know that I at least am exempt from all their doom laden prophecies.