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In from the Dark Side

Head Rambles Posted on by

There was an event a few weeks ago of momentous importance.

Naturally I was going to write about it, but I completely forgot.

You see, I got an email.  Not any old email, but one from The Lord High Master Supershadow himself.

How the fuck could I forget that?

good evening grandad.
once again i decided to flick trough your website to time how long i could remain unoffended…
as you can imagine that didn’t last long..
dont you realize every post that promotes your smog porn puts bodies in morgues

Okay, apparently standard protocol demands that he starts off by accusing me of something.  I’ll ignore that.

A month ago at a Jedi council meeting we had a discussion about the up and coming star wars movie – Solo – A star wars Movie
During the debate some of group complained this movie was pushing a ‘snowflake SJW’ agenda..that the protagonist who replaces Harrison ford is nothing but a snowflake himself and hes in a romantic relationship with chewbacca the wookie in the movie.
I pointed out that this was progressive and it was incumbent on star wars and the jedi to lead the way.
The conversation became more heated and the issue of the female protagonist of The Last Jedi being a Mary Sue was argued.
Eventually fists started flying and the cops were called.
yours truly was in hospital for a day.
Could this the beginning of the end?  Jedi fighting amongst themselves? Is this mentioned in the bible as a portent of the Apocalypse?
On reflection this has lead me to think that you could be right in some ways.
Sometimes something like this needs to happen for proper reflection.
Definitely this is truly a momentous occasion?  Supershadow is finally beginning to see the light?
The idea of a jedi is someone who does not get angry and is extremely fit and mediates between opposing groups.
yet looking back, the Jedi at these Jedi council meetings are overweight single men in the 50’s who have taken an oath of celibacy (being Jedi), just like jedi daoku vorkuss whom you wrote about some time back. (He was present and charged with assault)
While they neither drink or smoke they tend to eat a lot of pizza as most of these Jedi council meetings involve watching all the star wars movies back to back for hours. A sedentary life as you can imagine.
One experiment was to ban pizza and bring treadmills to the the council meetings so these jedi could exercise while watching the movies at the same time..this turned out to be a disaster with people tripping over and getting breathless.
the journal of the whill (the jedi bible) clearly states
“The apprentice Jedi shall walk naked among the trees and the bushes and live off the fruits of the land for 7 months and 1 week. This will prime the apprentice in self sufficiency”
It sound to me like something is going wrong somewhere.  Don’t worry too much Supershadow – we ll have our off days.
Quite honestly granddad I could not see any of these guys managing even one day among the trees and bushes clothed let alone naked.
At this stage  I couldn’t care less if you didn’t  take your grand kids to see Solo- A star wars movie. I’m sure you don’t want them to end up like Daoku 40 years from now.
Rest assured.  I had no intentions whatsoever of bringing any of the to see that film.  Or any Star Wars films for that matter.

So for once I will give you one point (as they say in your euro-vision).

Its not often we agree so you may as well print this post off and put in on your wall.

kindest regards
Supershadow

Indeed, it is hanging in a gilt frame across from my chair.  Not only that, but it is now immortalised on this great site forever.

Welcome to the real world, and kindest regards.

Grandad

 

Comments

In from the Dark Side — 6 Comments

  1. the movie is a disaster, with people having entire cinemas to themselves to watch it…guess they don’t call it ‘Solo’ for nothing 🙂

    • So I have heard.  I saw the very first Star Wars back when God was a child but never watched any of the avalanche that followed.  SS need have no fear that I would impose that film on the Grandkids anyway.

  2. My girlfriend works in a toy shop  and gets a lot of middle aged star wars guys buying toys.They complain about the fact that she does not now the names of the characters and the names of the spaces ships!!too right you should not indoctrinate your kids with this stuff 🙂 Could you imagine being one of their kids. Saddos 🙂

  3. The Shadow. The archetypal journey of the Hero (Star Wars). All very Jungian GD.

  4. Oh, what a delicious thought.  A basement full of hyperventilating, roseate middle-aged weebles hell-bent on fisticuffs.  That would be worth a tenner of anyone’s brass. 🙂 Very sorry I missed the treadmills though, that must’ve been a magnificent spectacle…

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