Internal memo
We have all heard of “the Internet of Things”?
Apparently it has inveigled itself into my life, and indeed my very self.
Now I get some very weird fucking messages popping into my Inbox, but one I received this morning shocked even my hardened sensibilities.
What the fuck are my kidneys doing sending me emails?
I don’t have Herpes so far as I am aware so I didn’t open it. I binned it via the shredder.
My kidneys can mind their own fucking business and go back to making piss like they are supposed to.
My liver once wrote me an angry letter after a particularly heavy weekend
No emails yet though…
My pancreas did the same. Even though I smoke like a chimney and drink like a Knight Templar, after all those years I seem to be still O.K.
This is getting surreal. Kidneys, pancreas and liver all sending messages? I just hope I don’t get a letter of resignation from my heart.
🙂
The parts of the body held a convention to determine who was the Boss. The Brain said I do all the thinking around here, I should be the boss. The heart said I work constantly never getting a rest I should be the boss. The lungs, kidneys, gall bladder and other organs each had their say. Finally the asshole said I want to be the boss. All the other organs started laughing at the poor old asshole. The asshole got mad and stopped working. Things when down hill fast with all other other organs struggling to function surround by all sorts of noxious waste. Finally all the organ gave in and told the asshole he was the Boss. The moral of the story, you don’t have to have to be smart or work hard to be the Boss, you just have to be an asshole.
So if you get an e-mail from your asshole, you better answer it or you might get terminated.
LOL!
I keep getting messages from my genitalia complaining about chronic unemployment . . . .
Presumably that’s by means of soggy sheets!