Some bloke has suggested that Ireland should have free contraception.

I presume this is in response to the abortion debate that is raging here at the moment [and for the next few months].

I should point out to non-Irish readers that there have been only two items on the news every day for months – the abortion debate and some fucking enquiry into some fucking scandal involving our glorious fucking police service.  Both are tedious in the extreme.  The only relief in our news bulletins comes from who got shot in Dublin last night in some gangland war.

Anyhows, back to the contraception lark.

Naturally people are going to be in favour of this little brainwave.  What’s not to like about getting something for nothing?  Except it isn’t for nothing.  Someone has to pay for the pills and the rubbers and whatever else, so who is going to fork out?  The tax payer, of course.  We already have a movement in place for free GP care.  It started with infants, and each year it creeps upwards into the teens.  It’s a brilliant election promise – free healthcare for all!

I assume doctors have to eat?  I assume they have mortgages and school fees for their kids?  I presume they like to have a bob or two in their pockets?  I presume they like the odd pint or a [sneaky] smoke?  If they are giving free care and lashing out condoms left right and centre the where do they make their living?  Why, from the gubmint of course!  Or to put it in more honest terms – the taxpayer.

I can only think of a very few things in life that are actually free.  The air we breath for one [or at least until they find a way to tax it, which they will].  Water is free but only if you drink it from a clean stream that runs through your property.  Food is free if you fancy gathering it out of the hedgerows or hunting wild animals.  Fuel for your fire is free if you don’t mind trips to the woods to collect fallen branches.

Everything else has to be paid for.  Anything that requires manufacturing, processing, servicing, maintaining or delivery has to incur a cost, and someone has to pay.  While I applaud the concept of free stuff I know it is going to cost me anyway.

Now I have no problem with my taxes being spent on things we all need and use, such as roads, public lighting, police, water and the like but I do object to paying for something that only a portion of the population will enjoy.  Why the fuck should I pay taxes for Durex so some bloke can screw his wife’s sister [or mother]?

The same goes for the free GP care system.  If they had to pay for a GP visit then suddenly little rugrat’s sniffles won’t seem so serious after all.  We already have a Medical Card system that allows those under a certain income level to get free care and that is what I would call fair [especially as I have one!].  The rest should pay.

In my ideal world the rule would be simple.  Is it essential and does every man woman and child use it?  If so then pay for it out of taxes.  If it is discretionary or only used by some then let it carry a cost.  In the case of essential but only used by some  such as health or education, then have a system like the Medical Card – free to those under a certain income level and a subsidy from the tax base.

As for free contraception?

Fuck that!