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Fighting the devil — 19 Comments

  1. How about a little contraption that, as soon as the door opens, throws a bucketful of water over him?

    Won’t hurt him but will let him think twice about opening that door again?

    Will also teach the devil that you are God and see everything 😉

    • That is so elegant in its simplicity!  Trap set.

      Actually, while I was setting it Cat tried [twice] to rush past me in an attempt to go down to the foundations of the house.  Each time I hauled him out by the tail which didn’t please him.  He is a persistent little fuck.

  2. Obviously, the hotpress door is a distraction. Probably just trying to get you away from your computer long enough to try out some new hotkey combinations. 😉

     

    Good luck, and thanks for the read.

    • Welcome C.F.!  You could be right.  There is something inherently evil about that animal and I wouldn’t put it past him.

  3. Grandad,

    When I was 8 years old, my dad surprised me one day with a Siamese kitten that he paid $32 for at the local pet shop.  Of course, I loved that cat, but it was crazy and mean.  It would swing on the back of the rocking chair and wait for our unsuspecting dog to wander by and then pounce on him, he would attack other members of the family, but his fatal flaw was ruining my mother’s brand new custom made curtains.  I came home from school one afternoon to the news that the cat had gotten out somehow and could not be found.  I spent 2 days knocking on every door in our neighborhood looking for that cat, but he never turned up.  Fast forward eight years when I was 16.  One night before taking us out for dinner my dad had to stop by his shop in the warehouse district and low and behold the fattest Siamese looking cat I’d ever beheld sauntered down the street.  I said, “Hey look at that cat; it reminds my of the one I had.”  My entire family busted out into laughter and my dad said, “Well, that’s because it is!”  My mom had threatened to kill it unless my dad took it away while I was at school and he turned it loose in the warehouse district.  Needless to say that cat lived well off the wharf rats down there.  Not saying you should do anything like that, but hey, I can’t help it if you get any ideas.

    • Welcome Dog Lover!  Our Cat is exactly the same.  He has a scratching post and a scratching mat.  Both are unused and in pristine condition, while all our furniture is beginning to show signs of wear and tear.  His favourite spot is the back of an armchair, where he actually has to squeeze past the scratching post to get there.  Did I say he was evil?

      Maybe I’ll sneak him down to the village on my next trip.  The bugger would probably find his way back though……

    • When I was a lad, my mother bought a Siamese cat (well, it’s posh, innit), and it used to chew holes about 2″ diameter in everything. Towels, blankets, upholstery, clothes, whatever. I blame it on the trauma brought on by being named ‘Gaylord’. I mean, fuck, who wouldn’t chew holes in everything having to live with a name like that?

  4. More importantly for the British speakers among us, wtf is a hotpress??!

    (a gadget looking like an ironing board on steroids for the pressing of trousers….? )

        • Around the same time a couch turned into a sofa turned into a settee, or a sitting room turned into a lounge.

           

      • Well, according to your link, GD ‘Hot Press’ is an:

        Irish term for an airing cupboard.

        So it’s not English at all, it’s an Irish version of English.

        I have to admit, I’ve never heard the term ‘hot press’ referring to an airing cupboard before. If you asked me, I would have said it was one of those electrically heated trouser presses, which would have been a guess, but an informed guess. And what’s a cupboard got to do with presses anyway? Where on earth did you lot come up with that?

        Funny old lot, the Irish….

        • ‘Tis a well known fact that us Irish speak English a lot gooder than what the English do.  That’s why we get all those fucking Spanish students cluttering up the place every summer.

          Anyways, have you thought about the word “cupboard”?  “cup” + “board”?  Does that make sense?

          • As with a lot of things, a cupboard is an evolution. A word given to an item which has evolved, but it’s name remained unchanged.
            A cupboard was just that a board where you stored your cups, either on hooks or small shelves. The first evolution was to put sides and a top onto the board, rather like a Welsh dresser.
            Later doors were added and so what we recognise as a cupboard came to be.
            The name was then used to refer to any storage unit with doors.

            There was a similar evolution with beds, a bedroom was basically a sleeping cupboard. Imagine if you will a four poster bed with wood rather than curtains around it, this also evolved through the four poster to the bedrooms of today.

            I rather suspect you dropped of somewhere during the first paragraph so Shhh goodnight granddad.

  5. “Purifying cat corpse”? I guess the cat deleted your t. 😉

    Free proof reading, seeing as it’s Christmas(ish). 🙂

    • Bugger!  Thanks.  Actually it was my smell-checker this time, and not the cat.  Everyone is out to get me today…

  6. Maybe this is what’s happening.

    “During atmospheric changes, cats are said to act strangely and may seem uneasy, even tearing at cushions or carpets, it is said during these episodes that a cat is “raising the wind.”
    The truth of the matter is that a cat has a superior nervous system and by the condition of its fur, it can sense approaching changes in the weather before humans can.
    The electricity in the air causes a cat to rub their ears and lick their fur. When a cat washes herself in her usual manner, there will be fair weather, but if she sits with her tail toward the fire or licks herself above the ears, bad weather is on the way. If a cat licks it’s tail, there is rain in the forecast.”

    Given the way the weather is in Ireland, you might get the whole lot in a couple of hours.

    http://www.mustlovecats.net/Cat-Mythology.html

    Gotta learn their lingo.

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