My own little black hole — 20 Comments

    • I thought of that, but the cat was in the garden [still is and it’s freezing out there 😈 ] and the dog was asleep on the couch, as usual.

  1.  Do not try and find the phone. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth: There is no phone. Then you’ll see that it is not the phone that vanishes, it is only yourself.

    • Narcissistic cat? Gaslighting IS a feature usually honed to perfection by narcissists, isn’t it?

      But I think I go along with BD – it’s not the phone that’s vanished, it must be you. How do you like it there, whereever “there” is? Is the parallel universe you’re in showing any more differences to the one you were in before apart from the missing phone?


      • I only recently learned the term “gaslighting” but in a different context.  If the cat is indeed gaslighting me then he/she/it has learned to walk through walls, which is slightly more worrying.

  2. 24 hours later, you’ll find the phone on the floor. It’s a technique inanimate objects have to make you think you’re losing your marbles. Don’t let them win!

    • 99.99% of lost stuff in this place either ends up in the kitchen drawers or Herself’s canvass bag.  I’ll probably wait until tomorrow by which time it will have arrived in one or the other……

  3. Might it have rebounded off the floor and lodged itself up underneath the armchair or chest of drawers?

    Or perhaps you haven’t been leaving enough whiskey out for the little people and they’ve spirited it away.

  4. I feel your pain. I do not like my cheap and nasty “smart” phone that uses Android. And like yourself find it drains the battery far too rapidly.

    Yet I wouldn’t like to lose it, certainly not the way you seem to have managed.

    And there will be all the people who have called since the event and will be concerned. They will, they really will. Especially those who think they’ll inherit.

    So you’ll have to call them back once the phone’s been returned.

    Previously mobiles were a bit of a bother for thieves because they had their own charger. Now – courtesy of an EU directive – they must all use a USB connector. They’re very inexpensive and easy to add to any stolen phone.

    That’s part of the reason why there are so many “moped” thieves zipping around nicking them off people who have them on display.

    One problem the fuzz have faced is they’re not allowed to stop the moped for fear of damaging the rider. And the motorcycles they use (large, heavy, wide) are not suited for high speeds in tight built up areas.

    At long last the London lot have taken a leaf out of the Mexican Police playbook and got themselves some very nimble dual purpose BMW’s, so if moped man goes off road, or in pedestrian footpaths, they can follow.

    You did mention some time back that you have experienced some very odd phenomenon in your property, so it’s possible some presence simply wants to borrow your phone. Quite what use it’ll be to said poltergeist is immaterial.

    It’ll doubtless turn up in due course and hopefully his ether will have sorted that charging problem.

    Oh and the wee person may just have a bit of fun with you by having it ring in the attic!

  5. I found it this morning!

    It was a few feet away from where it fell and was under a mat under a recliner chair.  That chair is damned heavy and sits on a mat to stop it from damaging the floor, so how the phone ended up under the mat under the chair shall remain a mystery.  Maybe any or all of the above theories are correct?  I think we can eliminate the cat or the dog though, as neither would be capable of lifting that chair.


    • I was going to suggest that the phone swung on it’s USB cable and ended up under or in the guts of the recliner but, since you already found it, I won’t bother.

  6. Ed P was closest. It was the house elf, you have been neglecting it and not showing enough respest. Aplogize and ask for the item to be returned. When it re-appears don’t forget to say thank you.

    • Welcome Dave!  Nah!  The cat caught the house elf a few weeks ago.  I wouldn’t have minded, but he left the corpse on my chair.  My chair is sacred.

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