Hotel California
I made myself a promise last year.
Sometime around the summer I decided enough was enough and it was time this site was put out of its misery. I even picked a date. October 20th. The reason for that date was simple enough – it was ten years since I started the site and ten was a nice round number.
Then in August I was invited to join Martin Scriblerus. Now one of the criteria for membership was that scribbling should be a regular thing, and it seemed a bit churlish to accept the invitation and then kill the site? I decided to let it run at least until the end of the year.
And now here I am, on its eleventh “birthday” still brainfarting away. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I just stop?
I decided a while back to ease back a bit. Maybe fart away on one or two days a week or even a month. But it is like an irritating itch and it demands a scratch on a more regular basis. I have reached the point of utter frustration.
As the song says:
I can check out but I just can’t leave.
I’m rather glad you keep it up, I enjoy the meanderings of thoughts.
It’s all right for you – you just have to read it. In fact you don’t have to even do that…..
Don’t you dare go!!!!!! It’s like a bleedin loss when someone decides they’ve had enough. I even feel bereft. Grief.
You STAY! Ya hear??
Haha, nah, I enjoy reading your posts.
That’s my whole point – I can’t seem to stop even when I want to. I’m stuck in a morass of banality.
No. You might HAVE to write. If it wasn’t this blog, it would be another one. The addiction is to crafting something with words. Like a musician HAS to play music, or an artist HAVING to make art.
The subject matter – banal, superficial, profound, is secondary to the art of crafting it with words,
Well, that’s what I think.
Keep going – you are cursed anyway!
You think you’re in control. You think you can handle it, that you can stop anytime you like. But the Truth is you’re an ADDICT. No matter how low it takes you, no matter what degrading thing you have to do or whose body you have to sell, you will do whatever it takes to get your fix.
Get help. You can’t fight this on your own. There are people out there who care, who have been there themselves.
Get help today! Now! Fire up face book and leave Bloggers Anon a comment. Take that first step towards freedom.
Damn but you could be right. However any addiction is worth suffering rather than entering Farcebook so I’d have to look elsewhere. Maybe I should start a group? It would give me something to write about?
Damn but you could be right.
Admitting it to yourself is a vital first step. Now you need to admit it in public…”my name is Grandad and I am a blogger”…..maybe you could write a blog about your way back to internet sobriety? Your ’12 step’ journey?
I would never claim I am a “blogger”. Hate the word. I don’t know why. Scribbler? Writer? Brainfarter? Diarist? Anything but “blogger”.
I rather like you not fighting your addiction too hard – would miss your meanderings. Really!
There’s another theory though. Like many of us, you spent years thinking a lot and saying very little, (probably because you thought it would make no difference). So you fill up up with millions of unsaid things. You get into your later years and are no longer a slave to the clock and you find you are full of things to say,
My theory is that you haven’t it all said yet!
Don’t you dare leave.
:o)
I think your frustration is a bit misplaced, sir. It’s perhaps not so much your frustration of not being able to stop writing every day but more the absolute frustration of people our age living in the world/society as it is today. So what’s obvious is that your old blog gives you relief from the day’s events, be they actual or observed, reducing the pent up daily frustration that would otherwise build up to a point where ulcers might possibly occur.
I say HR is your passion, sir and without it you may end up like those other great artists that gave up their passions only to die within the year, etc and so-on.
Or perhaps I (some term I can’t recall that means exaggerate but different) a bit?
Rabbit on?
Lay it on a bit too thick?
Patronise the antique?
Fact is he’s like so many others who constantly threaten to do this that and the next thing. He just wants us to tell him he’s bloody marvellous and our life would be a whole lot less cheery without the occasional snigger at his (usually self inflicted) ball’s up’s and observations.
Massage his ego a bit, the guys going through a sympathetic separation for and on behalf of a sprog. Shares her pain – and the possibility she might want her old room back.
And the days are getting shorter, so he’s kind of feeling a wee bit blue. And on the 29th they change the clocks to daylight saving – and that’s ALWAYS a tough one to handle. And it messes up the pets routines – and they’ll take it out on him.
(Expect suitable caustic rebuff, once out of moderation)
My ego does not need a massage. I can think of other bits that do, but not my ego. One great thing about “being of a certain age” is that I know who I am and I am quite happy with me. If other people don’t like me [or what I do or say] they can lump it. I don’t care.
[*Puts Smoking Scot back into moderation again……*]
Yup, I did that on purpose.
Did that on purpose too.
Not possible. I’ve known the guy for too long.
Hope you get out of
prisonmoderation soon.So you are saying that this site is what’s keeping me alive? You could be right I suppose. If I weren’t writing I would be doing something else. Probably something dangerous. Probably something that would get me killed?
Like experimenting with volatile chemicals?
Rambling is a great past time. It’s cathartic, you start realizing how you really feel about issues, but are afraid to voice face to face. I’m a bit of a liberal but keep my opinions to myself or else I get get ‘snowflake’ thrown at me. On the internet it’s great, if people don’t like what you think, they become easy to wind up. Just the once though – trolling seems a bit excessive.
You should stick with it – judging by the responses you’ve received you’re obviously appreciated.
Welcome Matt! One of the things about this site that I discovered in the early days was that I could vent freely about life’s irritations. Unfortunately those irritations still irritate and it gets a bit tedious if I keep moaning about them? It has taught me though that it’s fine to voice my opinion on a range of subjects. I have lost quite a few friends as a result!