Missing appointments
They’re at it again.
Two weeks ago I wrote about the irritating amount of insistence that I get a hearing aid either through my email inbox or through my more traditional mail inbox [i.e. the porch floor]. Did they listen? Did they fuck!
I got two letters this morning. Well, actually I got five but three went straight into the waste paper bin without being opened. Of the two that were left, one was sort of anonymous in that there was no address on it [our postal system can be quite clever – they can deliver with the minimum of information] but the other one was an official looking thing with the full name and address on it. I opened that one first.
Fucking hell! Hidden Hearing are at me now. The one a fortnight ago was from Advanced Hearing so they must swap details or something. Anyways, they have made an appointment for me – 3pm, Thursday the 30th of March in Skobieville. I am to call in and have my hearing tested [no obligation], and if I need a hearing aid [anyone care to bet that I won’t?] they’ll let me test their new super dooper new hearing aid [no obligation]. I will then be told in no uncertain terms that my life will count for nothing if I don’t purchase said hearing aid. Special offer – a mere €475.
They can fuck off.
I then opened the other letter.
Fucking hell with bells on! Now I have an appointment on Tuesday, April 18th in Skobieville to have a full scale medical with blood tests, scans, prods and pokes and probably an oil change. According to their literature, they reckon I am on the very brink of a massive and fatal heart attack, and that only by taking their tests will disaster be averted in the nick of time. This staggering revelation will only cost me a mere €149 [normally €320] as they obviously value my life so much.
So now I have two appointments, neither of which I made. They obviously don’t think I have better things to do. I am to phone and confirm said appointments. They can wait.
I happen to know quite a lot about the results of those tests in advance. I know my hearing is absolutely perfect apart from Tinnitus [which doubtless the super dooper hearing aid will miraculously cure, despite there being no cure] and I recently had my 10,000 mile overhaul down at Doc’s where all the results were A+ including the full spectrum of blood tests [white cell count was marginally high but then I do have a lingering bug in the system].
So I am almost tempted to go for those appointments just to predict in advance their results in advance. But I won’t. I do have better things to do with my time and money even if they don’t.
Mind you, the non hearing letter warned me that heart attack can occur without warning [which sort of nullifies their tests?] so if suddenly you don’t hear from me any more, well, you know what’s happened.
Maybe I should keep that appointment after all?
♫ If you look in your spam today you may find a txt fiiiiilllleee ♫ (to be sung in an effeminate voice to the tune of ‘If You Go Down To The Woods Today’-the proper John Inman version of course.
When I click on the little note it doesn’t play anything. Feckin’ computers…………..
OK I’ll send it in gmail and you can strip out the crap at your leisure.
I am to phone and confirm said appointments. They can wait
And they will sell your phone number on to every spammer who will pay good money for any working number of someone who ‘responses’ (even if your ‘response’ was “FECK OFF YER EEEJITS!”) to marketing material.
Don’t worry – judging by the cold calls, they already have my number. Had to put a block on it in the end as I was pissed off at the offers to fix my fucking windows!
What has been getting up my nose recently (me being rather paranoid about websites that mine my computer for personal info) is when I click to view a site that looks as if it might be a bit interesting and get a whiney little banner up telling me “We notice you are using an ad blocker, this site depends on advertising revenue for its survival so if you want to see out content switch of your blocker, you evil, content – thieving bastard.”
Now I have no objection to people putting static ads on their site, things that say “Buy Wombat’s Wonderful Widgets because they’re really good,” in fact there’s even a slim chance I might occasionally click one one. But I don’t think stealing personal information from my computer is acceptable.
So what I’d rather see is a notice that says something like: “Cookie Policy – We don’t use cookies, we don’t track you, we never gather users personal data. Please let us show you ads.” And if a quick look at the site confirms that, then OK. Advertising should not be intrusive and ads such not run such massive data mining scripts they almost stop a mid range computer in its tracks.
Some years ago we had appointments made for us to attend a biobank for blood tests and so on. We just didn’t attend. Best thing, really. Ignore it.
I have no intention of doing anything about either “appointment”. If they want to waste their time and money, that’s their affair, but I’m not going to waste any of mine.
From what you say, your time could be very limited. Best not to waste any of it on pointless tests. Of course, if you stick to the pipe and whiskey, you might live to a good old age – and actually get to enjoy some of it. Sláinte
Morning grandad, I bought a chinese hearing aid on ebay, and theres nothing wrong with it quite a sophisticated bit of kit, it was about £50, i suspect that in ireland and the uk hearing aids are overpriced, my fucking smartphone does everything bar make a cup of tea and it was cheaper than an hearing aid!
Why buy a Rolls Royce when you just need a car? I never trust these special offers through the post anyway. If I thought I needed aid with my hearing I would find a company myself to do the tests.