I just want to be heard
There is something very strange going on.
For the last couple of weeks I have been inundated with emails. They usually arrive in pairs [just like buses] and I have gotten used to seeing a little message pop up on my screen – you have 2 new mails – and have learned to ignore them. They all come from different people but the subjects seem to have some commonality of purpose, in that they all seem to think I need a narrow range of services.
The vast majority of the mails are health related. They implore me to examine how Christina Aguilera lost 20lbs, which is of no fucking interest to me whatsoever, seeing as I don’t even know who Christina Aguilera is and nor do I care. They also breathlessly want to show me a video to learn how I am about to have a heart attack. They offer cures for Alzheimer’s and insomnia. They brad about a “smart pill” that increases brain power and even cite Donald Trump as a satisfied customer [a bit of an own goal?] They also want me to read all about walk-in tubs for some strange reason.
One of the most common though is one dramatically announcing that there is a brand new treatment for Tinnitus, developed by the Mayo Clinic no less. Now I have checked with the Mayo Clinic and they have never heard of this treatment [which could be indicative of a hearing problem?], so are they a different Mayo Clinic somewhere over in Westport?. What I would like to know is why these people are so concerned about my hearing? I never search online on the subject, and rarely mention it here. Yes – I have Tinnitus but it doesn’t bother me so I don’t bother it. I’m used to it at this stage.
I got a letter this morning.
There it was, lying in a pool of rainwater that had seeped in under the front door, all nicely addressed to me personally.
I opened it.
It started off – “As a valued customer of Advance Hearing …. ” Now I have never been a customer of theirs, nor do I intend to be, but they are really excited about a brand new hearing aid that have been developed especially “for patients like me”. Apparently this new hearing aid allows me to stream music directly into my ears which is something I definitely don’t want – I like silence. They are even offering me 30% off as a valued customer, and an “on site” repair service which presumably means they come out and stick screwdrivers and volt meters in to my ear?
So what is the new obsession with my health, and in particular with my hearing? Does the world know something that I don’t?
I really am getting tired of all this.
Do you hear me?
Is someone spying on you, listening to your convos? Is it your telly? Is there a bug in the backdoor of your pooter? Unsolicited advertising gets on my nerves too. For example I just logged in to check on e-mails and up pops the notice “You have an ad-blocker.” You don’t say! I wonder why I found it necessary to install one… “Would you like to know how to disable it then you can see our targeted adverts?” Oh dearie me, Did I install it by accident in a fit of madness? No! All I want is to read my e-mails in peace without flashy crap of no interest to me popping up left and right annoying the bejabers out of me! One of the options to make the pop-up go away was “I don’t care!” Nice and appropriate imo 😀
The Mayo clinic? Is that for Mayonnaise malaise?
BTW Grandad I still haven’t got normal visitation rights of your blog as discussed previously. No proxy use by me means no side-bar as per screen shots I sent you a while ago. 🙁 Could be the weather conditions…?
I’m used to the CIA, NSA, FBI and all those other Mercan Acronyms spying on me but I can spot them a mile off. It’s not them. Maybe it’s the Internet Wing of the Health Fascists?
I would love to know the thinking behind those notices begging us to switch off ad blockers. Do they expect us to suddenly take an interest in just their rubbish? Does it not cross their tiny minds that the reason we have ad blockers is that we don’t want to see ads?
Sorry, but could you send another screenshot and all relevant details again – you are proof of my rule that nothing is ever needed until after it has been binned. I didn’t deliberately bin it – just a routine clear out of around 4,000 mails.
If its the health fascists I hope they are reading this:- BOG OFF! 🙂
Re screenshot. Will do.
A forum I frequent based in Thailand recently thought that they were being really smart by installing an adblock detector which made a large popup cover the screen for 30 seconds exhorting you to turn off your adblock. This was predictably greeted by howls of protest and mass abandonment of the site.
At the time I was using adblock plus, but a bit of research turned up another called ublock, which has the facility to detect adblock detectors and fool them into thinking that your adblock is disabled. It doesn’t work on all sites, but it did on this Thai one.
I really am getting tired of all this.
Do you hear me?
–PARDON?
(ps did you get my last weird email ?)
P.S. No. ‘Fraid not. I even checked all my bins.
Resent …with xxx and prayers and supplications to the great God Gmail, to assure it safe passage.
Nope! Or else, was this you – cheapcialis@mail.com ? I found that sandwiched between “how Jennifer Hudson got her sim figure” [who the fuck is Jennifer Hudson?] and yet another offer of a bargain charter jet hire.
I think it’s Supershadow. He is planting advanced hearing aids into the ears of Jedi like yourself so you can hear the instructions from General Llareggub, commander of the federation forces.
Testing using proxy (page appearing normal complete with sidebars and links)
Easy way to get rid of unsolicited snail mail. Stick it all in an envelope and send it back to company with no stamp. I guarantee you’ll not get any more from them. Emails, of course, can be blocked.
Unfortunately most of the firms who send out spam now tend to refuse to accept (and pay for) any unfranked letters. IME.
There’s obviously a list of ‘ancient ones’ in circulation: those who just might need a hearing aid. I regularly receive their bumph, but there’s nothing wrong with my hearing … sorry, can you please say that again?
My hearing aids have a lovely bluetooth function so they can be “paired” up with up to 8 devices at a time (can you imagine?) Since I don’t own 8 devices I’m pretty much safe although I do have it paired up to a special bluetooth base that I plugged into the audio-out of my TV so the soundtrack of the movies we watch comes right out of my hearing aids and into my brain. I still have to use closed captions but hearing the sound track helps immensly.
I’ve also received the same kind of junk emails you mention, especially the one about walk in bathtubs. I’ve always imagined the walk-in door failing with a tub full of water and me being flushed down the stairs with the torrent. Not something that appeals to me.