Just imagine the scenario.
There you are having the holiday of a lifetime on board a cruise liner somewhere in the Caribbean, or maybe the Mediterranean or even off the beach at Blackpool [choose your own favourite spot].
Anyhows, there you are enjoying the sea air and trying to ignore the other tedious passengers when the ship hits a rock. Or maybe an iceberg, though that’s rather unlikely in the Caribbean, or the Mediterranean?
So there you are floundering around in the wreckage, barely keeping afloat when you discover your mobile phone is miraculously still working. You phone for help.
“Put on your lifejacket” shouts the voice at the other end.
But you have already discovered that the lifejackets are fuck all use.
“I’ll teach you to swim!” offers the voice at the other end.
Another fucking useless bit of help.
At that moment, a lifeboat floats by. It’s a beauty, with food and water and a nice comfortable area to sit and wait for rescue. You happily inform the disembodied voice on the phone that you have resolved your own problem.
“Don’t get into that lifeboat!” the voice shrieks. “It could be dangerous. It could sink. On no account are you to use it to save your life.”
Information given out with e-liquid –