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The funniest joke of 2016

Head Rambles Posted on by

I see our beloved lords friends and masters in the EU are at it again.

They are apparently drafting a law that demands that I insure my lawnmower!

Under normal circumstances I would take this as a joke – a bit of whimsey conjured up to give us a laugh to brighten the dark days of winter – but no, it seems they are serious.

Now my lawnmower remains locked up for the winter.  Come summer, it trundles out every week or fortnight and we do a few laps of the lawn.  It must clock up at least a mile in the summer months before going back into hibernation again.  I rarely if ever cut the grass when there is someone else is present.  The only chance of an accident is if I drive it into the lake which would be my own damn fault.  So why the fuck should I insure it?

So some cunt in Slovenia has an accident and I have to pay insurance as a result?  I’m not even sure I know where Slovenia is, yet one bloke falling off a ladder imposes yet more incredibly stupid laws on us?

So are they going to run spot checks on all gardens in the EU?  Are they going to impose speed limits on lawnmowers?  Can I expect to find the local constabulary hiding behind the sundial with a speed radar gun?  Will there be new laws where I can be arrested for cutting the grass while over the legal limit of alcohol?  Will they ban smoking on a lawnmower if there is a child in the garden? 

The EU has come up with some crazy things in the past but this really is entering into an alternative reality.  It is far beyond crazy.  It is well past insane.  It is precisely what I have come to expect from a bunch of overpaid bureaucrats sitting in an isolated office somewhere in Brussels, dreaming up insane laws to try to justify their existence.

Am I going to take out insurance on my lawnmower?

Hahahahahahaha!

 

 

Comments

The funniest joke of 2016 — 19 Comments

  2. “The only ones to benefit are the insurance companies” – too bloody right! They can take their idea and shove it up their EU compost heap!  Trying to police it will be impossible like their edict forbiding collection of seeds from your own garden.  My tomatoes tasted all the better this past year because all bar one plant came from last year’s crop!

    • Do they not wonder why people have no respect for all their petty laws?  Am I seriously to expect a police raid on my garden just because I’m cutting my grass?

      You honestly couldn’t make this shit up!

      • The slurry-heads in Brussels haven’t thought this through – quelle surprise!  Most people who have home insurance are covered for third-party issues and legal liability issues anyway – lawnmower incidents would be covered under that!

        They tried to come up with some legislation to enforce emissions testing for lawnmowers a little while ago  as well, so you can see what area they’re focussing on.  They can naff orf with that one too!

  3. Here in Canada, this past summer a man was arrested and charged with “driving while intoxicated”. He was mowing his own yard in a rural neighbourhood, when he came to the edge of his lawn by the road, he went onto the road to turn around to do another pass when he was nabbed. It turns out, it was his neighbour who reported him to police. Moral: Cut your grass when the neighbors not home.

  4. Is this for real?

    You can’t collect the seeds from your veggies and flowers that produce them?

    Please could you tell me why the fuck not?

    This is insane!

    C. B.

  5. You don’t own the plants in your garden either – owned by the EU. So your lawnmower is cutting THEIR grass! You have to do what you are told. 

    • If they own all the plants in the garden then it’s about time they started mowing the lawn, cutting back the hedges [and brambles] and pruning the trees.  They can’t have it both ways.

  7. I wonder if that insane idea was abandoned? The linked article is nearly 2 years old.

     

     

  8. Tee hee!  I bet you’re jealous that we’re on our way out, now, Gramps, whilst you’re stuck with them for a while yet.  Mind you, it might add a bit of impetus to the anti-EU sentiment on the Emerald Isle, though!  Here’s hoping.

  9. The sooner this rotten edifice crumbles the better. In Spain we still make moonshine although somebody said that there was a law against it. We are getting to the stage where everything is prohibited except that which is specifically allowed.

    • There is a thriving Poitín [moonshine] industry here too.  Great stuff.  Good rocket propellant.  Good for rubbing on a chest to get rid of a cough too.

  10. They can go the whole hog and make registration and annual licensing of lawnmowers compulsory. Mine will have GER 007 on the numberplate and there’ll be a ten-second explosive device attached to deter thieves.

  11. From what I’ve read elsewhere, the nincompoops also want this insurance for motor sports. However, insurers will not extend third party risk cover to motorsports on account of them being, well, a bit prang-prone. Unless there’s an exemption, bye-bye motor sports. The Telegraph also suggests that golf buggies, mobility scooters and fairground dodgems could be included in this (wet)blanket.

    • Can you imagine an insurance claim – I was driving my dodgem when this bloke came along and deliberately rammed me!  Err, so?

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