I take back everything I said yesterday.
I read an article today that really is astounding, and vital in its importance to the future of humanity.
I'm glad to say that the world's meeja are picking up on this vital news and flashing it around the globe. One cannot underestimate the importance of this shocking article, and I hope everyone on the planet gets to see it.
You see, a man was filmed lighting up a cigarette!
Yes – a cigarette!
Actually lighting it!
On a train!
Isn't that absolutely horrific? The mere thought of it makes my mind bleed. The video is only ten seconds long, but that's enough. It is ten seconds of sheer horror. It is seared forever into my retinas and I doubt I will ever sleep again. It is truly shocking. Shocking, I tell you.
I really have to ask myself what the world is coming to when a person can actually be seen lighting up a cigarette. Thank God there was somebody there handy with a camera, because without pictorial evidence I just wouldn't have believed it. Thank God also that the person with the camera was civic minded enough to share the evidence with the planet. Where would we be without these selfless photographers?
Next thing they'll be showing videos of fat people eating. Shudder! Stomach churning!
Thank you Frank for highlighting this vital item.
I am forever in your debt.