Predicting the end of Google

Dear Supershadow,

I always get a little warm feeling when I get one of your mails.

It appears that I am getting it in the neck again?

SS –

Here we go again. 2 brave young people  assess the hazardous drinking habits of irresponsible adult humans and you are accusing them of being nannies. What is wrong with you? were you dropped as child or something?

At your age and after starting a new year at least make an attempt to be a responsible adult.


No, SS.  Read what I wrote.  I congratulated the two involved and never accused them of being nannies.  What I did say was that they would have stellar careers in the Nanny State should they so choose.  Get your facts right.

And I can't say whether I was dropped on my head or not.  It's not something I ever discussed with my parents.

SS –

There will be a jedi new world order. Yes there are competing groups in all the underground societies but we are now a force to be reckoned with. we will show our faces soon. There have been upheavals(Morm Jordil is now effectively a rogue jedi council), but we now have members in everyone parliament in the world from London to bejing.

Me –

That actually explains quite a lot.  Incidentally, is Dublin included in that?  It would confirm a lot of my suspicions.

SS –

In many ways I don't blame you granddad. I think you were raised up with a stereotypical image of what a jedi is.

i.e. A bunch of middle aged star wars fans who don't have girlfriends and play with toys in their basements.

Me –

How could I ever think such a thing?

SS –

I assure you nothing could be further from the truth but I am not going to into all that again.

I have no doubt that those brave young people have a high blood/midiClorian ratio. There force is strong with them. They desire appropriateness from older adults and why should they not.

The sole purpose of a jedi is to bring balance to the force. Nothing else counts. I have previously alluded to the Appropriate/Inappropriate balance but at a recent council meeting we decided this was not possible. It would take countless thousands of jedi to monitor and influence the population of the world in fine detail even with brain chips and surveillance cameras.

Me –

But you already have the infrastructure in place?  Fucking CCTV cameras everywhere, and most people carry mobile phones which can be used for tracking and monitoring.  God knows the yoof of today seem only too keen to share every minute detail of their existence with anyone who wil listen.  I think you're missing out on a trick here?

SS –

The only other option is to breed Pure Jedi.

This creates a unique problem and I would ask that you do not print this as it has potential to cause global unrest:

Me –

OK.  I always respect my readers wishes and I shall not repeat the next paragraph.  For the sake of those who haven't read SS's mail, he essentially says that the plan is to have all women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  I don't know why he doesn't want the full piece reproduced, but there it is.  What is strange is that it contains the line – "Please me mindful of releasing this information to international bloggers as they may opine the message instead of merely passing it on" which places me in a situation where I can only opine as I am prevented from passing it on.  Weird.


He has just graciously granted me permission to print the omitted piece [makes me feel quite special!]

A Memo from a recent council meeting:

"Over the past 100 years the gender inequality gap has slowly been closed, mostly due to activism, political and social groups advocating the equal opportunities of both men and women. Unfortunately in a future Jedi World Order Women will be required to return to the role of reproduction, in particular the role of sustainable reproduction of Pure Jedi with near 1:1 midiclorine blood. Obvious this will create great social and possibly violent revolt initially. Please me mindful of releasing this information to international bloggers as they may opine the message instead of merely passing it on" – Lord Bruticus(Coruscant Temple – California)

I'll leave the opining to others.

SS –

I would like to point out granddad that this is merely recalibrating what women perceive to be equality I think you need to find your resonant zone granddad.

I found mine at the local cinema in hickory north Carolina way back in 1977.

Now I'm a millionaire who dates the most desirable women in LA. Soon my website will be back up and soon in the not too distant future will be the top level domain server for all the known universe. There will be no more google.

Me –

I found my resonant zone in the basement of a house in Rathmines back in 1964.  Actually that's not true – a lovely girl called Jacqueline found it for me.  I wonder where she is now?

I have seen some examples of women for LA and you have my deepest sympathies.  I bet none of 'em could hold a candle to Jacqueline anyway.

Regarding your website – I think you may be confusing Web Servers with Domain Name Servers?  They are two completely different things.  If you tried to run your Web Server as a DNS job it wouldn't last a microsecond, and nor would the Interweb, which would be somewhat self defeating?

Thanks for the tip, by the way.  I have sold my shares in Google.  I hope I don't get done for insider trading?

SS –

Good evening.

Me –

And a very good afternoon to you, Supershadow.  As always, it was a pleasure hearing from you.


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Predicting the end of Google — 16 Comments

  1. Well, that's left me in a fine old quandary.  Do I swear allegiance directly to Lord Bruticus?  Or do I sit on a barren hillside in my under-crackers waiting for someone to ask the question so that I can stand up and shout "I'm Bruticus!" in a mid-western accent?  It's all so confusing.

    Also, having seen all the Star Wars films, I never saw any jedi – no matter how high their midifiddlefaddle/blood count – manage to get their whole head up their own bunghole.  Is this a new power or what?

    • I only saw the first one.  After that things got a little confusing mixing up "prequels" with "sequels". Carrie Fisher was a bit of all right but apart from that I haven't a clue what all the fuss is about.  How come the Bond films or Batman haven't spawned "religions"?  Very strange.

      • I thought Batman caused the establishment of The Latter Day Church of the Rubber-Undie Wearers of Burbank.  Of course I could be mistaken, which would be a pity as it sounds tailor-made for Lord Bruticus…

  2. i,ll have another glass of Bushmills then just to keep a balance in the force you understand can,t have it flip-flopping all over the place can we.

  3. Bruticus lined out as a replacement front row forward in rugby matches over Christmas (sadly not living up to his name), but in the bar afterwards he was saying that Supershadow would be like one of those court advisers from classical civilisation and would be a eunuch.

  4. North Carolina eh? There are some STUNNING women there but whether SS managed to entice one to the movies is very much open to conjecture.

  5.  If you google Lord bruticus under images, your wicklow mountains picture shows up along with  middle aged men who dont have girlfriends:).


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