I have found a way to really piss off the dog.
She pissed me off earlier by going and rolling in something and came back into the house with each side of her neck greased with some revolting slimy black mess. I don't know what the fuck it was and I don't want to know. I had to drag her out into the garden again and hose her down which neither of us particularly enjoyed.
Anyhows, I was just messing around with some audio files, trying to recreate the sound that I have been listening to day and night for the last ten or fifteen years – my own little Tinnitus Concerto. I was wondering if I could create an opposite whistle, sort of out of phase or something that would cancel out the racket in my head.
I don't think I succeeded because my own personal whistle is still there, loud and clear.
What I did generate though was a sound that I can't hear. I must emphasise that my hearing is remarkably acute for my age [or so I have been told by a specialist] and I can hear the smallest sound at a great distance provided a) it's the only sound and b) it isn't near a frequency of around 12.5KHz. That's because my own little musical accompaniment to life is at that frequency. So the file I created is around 12.45KHz and I even added a little warble to it to make it a little more realistic.
I can't hear it.
I know I have created it because it is driving Penny nuts.
So if any of you have a dog that likes rolling in shit or dead animals, I am giving you a sample of my revenge.