Global Warning
WORLD IN IMMINENT DANGER OF MORAL COLLAPSE
In a lengthy statement issued by the IPCC [the International Panel of Christian Clergy] they have declared that there is now a 95% certainty that God exists.
The degree of certainty leaves little doubt that God is in fact in his Heaven, and compares to a finding of 90 per cent certainty in the previous – fourth – assessment six years ago. This, in turn, was a significant increase on the 66 per cent certainty reached in 2001’s third assessment and just over 50 per cent in 1995.
Governments around the world are exercising extreme caution to ensure that the report doesn’t contain a significant error that could be seized upon by atheists to discredit the research. The previous report in 2007 mistakenly claimed that the tooth fairy would appear in early 2013, a point which the IPCC was forced to admit was wrong.
Today US Secretary of State John Kerry backed the report’s findings, and pledged action on cutting agnosticism.
He said: “Boil down the IPCC report and here’s what you find: Lack of belief is real, it’s happening now, human beings are the cause of this transformation, and only action by human beings can save the world from its worst impacts.
This isn’t a run of the mill report to be dumped in a filing cabinet. This isn’t a political document produced by politicians.
It’s science.”
Last night’s discussions were largely concerned with how to present and explain the slowdown – or hiatus – in church attendance over the past 15 years. This is a development which atheists have used to further their case, but which the vast majority of scientists believe is only a blip in a clear long-term trend.
The report has hardened the calls from religious zealots for action on reducing religious belief. In the UK, executive director of Friends of the Great White Rabbit, Andy Atkins, said: “Scientists are now as convinced that humans are causing moral disruption as they are that smoking causes dandruff – politicians can’t continue to stand idly by while the world goes spinning towards Armageddon.
And they're off…………… ! I was wondering when this latest outburst would appear from the weenie greenie / carbon tax collectors. They musty have all been on holiday until now. Us blasphemers had better watch our ozones!!!
At least they're 95% positive they're not sure? Apart from that 95% figure, isn't there a humongous air of deja vu about the report?
Well if you keep saying the same thing over and over, eventually you'll believe it yourself.
I am 95% sure that the IPCC are 95% sure that they are 95% sure that God who, if He actually was in His heaven, would be 95% sure that humans are complete whack jobs.
That being said, I'm 100% sure that I couldn't care less what the IPCC says.
Nor could 95% of the population…..
Amen to that, brother
Doesn't matter this "report" will be picked apart as the last one and less and less people will care.They cant even explain the current 16 year lack of heating apart from some hand waveing about deep ocean heating that low and behold they cant prove they just go on faith that its happening or the increase in Antarctic ice or the fact the Arctic ice sheet is most certainly not gone like the nut jobs where predicting etc etc etc.
http://wattsupwiththat.com/ Good website for this sorta thing
This organization is down right evil politically motivated think tank thats killing our economy and people its sick
I see the way they get around the lack of warming over the last sixteen years by somehow claiming that anything under thirty years is just "weather" and not "climate"? Talk about shifting the fucking goalposts!
Worse thing is you still will have the die hards who will just nod and believe that crap where as anyone with some sense will look at it and see nothing but double speak to hide a inconvenient truth
Moral collapse?? yes! pass the drinkies lets get at'er! double on sundays
Now that's the kind of prediction I like…
What a load of bollocks! The church has got its cassocks in a twist. While human civilisation has evolved with countless different belief systems, worshipping countless Gods with varying degrees of fervour, one undeniable scientific fact remains. The world, extending as it does to the infinite reaches of space, is bigger than people. If life was a pack of cards, it is the world that holds all the aces. It is the world that is the ultimate dictator. It is the world that ultimately grants or curtails individual liberty. In this respect, people of all classes and creeds are on a par with lower life forms. Freedom of movement is only possible within the constraints of the human habitat, a habitat that we are still exploring and evolving to occupy as a result of the Industrial Revolution.